Archive for February 2014

Head vs Heart

Things seem to be going well right now in many ways.  There’s actually someone that I think might be into me and that I might be into.  I’m playing things slow and easy right now, just letting things happen at their own pace and see where they lead.  If it works out, great, and if it doesn’t, oh well, though I admit I am hoping for the former.

Being back in this sort of situation however has pointed out some things to me that I never looked at all that closely in the past.  Namely, my head and my heart tend to be at odds with each other, when left to myself.

I think a lot of this comes back to the way my personality is.  Besides anything draconic, I’m a engineer; a problem-solver.  I analyze problems, and look logically at what’s going on and why.  It’s part of why my favorite toys growing up were things like Legos and Transformers, and why when I started working I gravitated towards troubleshooting.

Okay, maybe I don’t 100% work off logic, as sometimes my intuition will kick in and get me to a solution even if I can’t quite articulate how I came up with it, but close enough for government work, as the saying goes.

Anyways, it’s all fine and dandy in the professional world, but my mind is one of those that only seems to have two gears: idle and GO. So, when sitting around with nothing specific, it tends to wander to random subjects, and off kicks the analyzer.  Again, not an issue if I’m working on a story I’m writing or trying to figure out some point of something I’ve read recently.  NOT a good thing however if my mind wanders towards things I’m emotionally involved with.

That’s where the second part kicks in.  I’m not sure whether it’s just some small masochistic part of me, or it comes from that engineering background where you have to examine all possible outcomes and risks, but I’ve tended to worry at times over various things.  Did I lock the door when I left?  Is there something I forgot or am forgetting that I needed to do?  Harmless with minor things, but not a good idea when applied to matters of the heart.

So this time, I’m actively working to keep that in check.  I’m sure I’ve made mistakes in the past with some of my ex-gfs due to this, but I don’t intend to anymore.  Life is too short to spend worrying myself over imagined things, when there’s plenty of good things and people right there in front of me.  If things don’t work out this time, it damn well won’t be because I let my head dictate terms to my heart.

On the other hand, I’m not the kid I was at 18, when I let my feelings blind me to everything until I got the proverbial bap on the nose with a newspaper. Going to the opposite extreme is just as bad, as it can easily lead to heartache and being walked on more often than the doormat in front of the Sears tower.  My heart won’t be leading my head around on a leash either.

Instead, what I need to find and keep is a balance between the two.  Thoughts and feelings, working in harmony.  Sounds nice, but it’s a bit harder than you’d think, and I don’t mean only me.  Emotion overriding logic is why we can end up with crazy laws/lawmakers, but pure logic leads to neglecting the personal sides of matters.

So where am I going with this?  I dunno, but writing it out tends to help me think through things like this without going into a descending spiral of navel-gazing.  Putting it in order for other people helps me put it in order for myself, sometimes.

Sometimes, all we need to do is just to take a long, hard look at ourselves and recognize where we need to grow.  Then, do so.  It may not be simple, and it may not be easy, but the rewards can be worth it.

Post-Toyfair roundup

Well we didn’t see quite as much as we’d hoped, but on the other hand, there were a couple real surprises.

For one, Hasbro is finally officially recognizing it’s adult fanbase!  In the investor panel, they specifically called out their marketing strategy as Rescue Bots for the very young, the mainline figures for up through age 12, and then Generations for the “18+ Boys.”  Yes, that was their exact wording on the latter.

What this means is that while the mainline toys are going to be very simplified, the former mainline figures that we’ve traditionally had with the complicated transformations will all be sticking around in Generations.  Essentially, besides the legacy(currently IDW) characters there’ll be a line of the new movie figures under the generations Label with all the usual bells and whistles we older folk have come to expect, but because of the labeling the younger tykes won’t be getting frustrated by them.  From personal experience, even though I’ve dealt with both their transformations twice, the difference between Scoop and Skids is like Night and Day.  I wouldn’t want to see a kid having to try to deal with Skid’s transformation when they’re trying to do a quick transform “mid-battle.”

Setting that aside, it looks like my wallet is still fairly safe from the movie year.  Most of the designs I still don’t care for, as I’ve been kinda burned out on the movie aesthetic.  Mostly I was just interested in Strafe who went from a techno-jet with two huge cannons to a dinosaur thing with two heads; Slash who is a tealish raptor that I’m kinda iffy on, Scorn who is a red spinosaurus who’s started to grow on me a little, and Crosshairs because of the twin gun mojo and trenchcoat, though that one depends on how he comes out in the movie.

As for the rest:

  • Legends are not canceled, despite rumors to the contrary!  So, still waiting on Swerve and Tailgate.  Probably giving Gears a pass, and undecided on Shrapnel.
  • On the deluxe side, I’m sold on Nightbeat now that he’s on the Bumblebee mold.  I don’t have that mold and it’s fairly fitting.  Jhiaxus I don’t care for the color scheme on, so I may wait until I see what he looks like Cheets-ed up into his G2 color scheme, and if it looks good I may send it off to get repainted.  Rattrap is as bought as he ever was, and Windblade is leaning towards no.  I’m waiting on better pictures for a permanent decision on that, but I don’t like how the robot legs are glaringly robot legs on the back of her vehicle mode, even though they could feasibly be boosters.  Oh and G1 car Arcee that we haven’t seen yet!
  • On the Ultra side, Roadbuster is bought.  Whirl needs his Wrecker partner-in-crime after all!  Skybyte is sort-of bought, but I want to see better pictures, or see it in person first.  It looks very dynamic, but the way the head jumps out in a different color is kind of off-putting.  No sign of Brainstorm.
  • As far as Leaders, I’m still passing on Jetfire because I already have the older Classics version, and I don’t care for the toy-based vehicle mode for a Skyfire design. No sign of Megatron yet.
  • And under the category of surprise returning guests, the Masterpiece Grimlock is coming out again stateside!  Hopefully this time I’ll actually catch it in stores.

That’s pretty much it until SDCC or Botcon.  The Generations line is supposed to have 73 figures this year, as opposed to 53 last year, but now it’s got to include the “real” movie figures so we’ll see what’s in store for us in the latter part of the year.

It’s that time of year…

It’s Valentine’s Day again, or as a lot of folks in my position know it, Singles Awareness Day!  Not sure if it’s a backronym or not(as it can be written as S.A.D.) but it amuses me enough as it is.  The day when you either spend extra to show someone how you feel about them, or are reminded you don’t have anyone, whether you care about that fact or not.  Oh, and cheap chocolates the day after!

Yep, this dragon is still flying solo at the moment.  Have been for nearing two and a half years, but I did have almost a three year gap in the past as well once before.  My hobbies just aren’t as conducive to meeting people as bar-hopping and clubbing, but neither of those is my scene.  As people have pointed out in the past, chances are if you meet someone at a bar, they tend to be the type to go to bars, and if you aren’t that may not work out so well(unless you’re just cruising for a bedwarmer, which I don’t do).

Honestly, I hadn’t even really thought about it (outside of S.A.D., and the occasional thought about what life might be like 50 years from now if nothing changes) until my emotions decided to jump up and thwack me on the head a few weeks ago.  Just because you may not be actively looking however, doesn’t mean you can’t keep your eyes open for a glint of hidden gold.  In this case however, as I said my hobbies meant that chances are lower since there’s not a steady stream of new people of the female persuasion going in and out of my life.

I have to admit I started actively looking again, but without throwing a huge amount of effort behind it.  My initial tries were checking out the furry community as they tend to be a bit more accepting of… alternate beliefs, but it’s almost scary how many young folk are on there and how few there are my age.  I also had been excluding single mothers, as I’m not sure if I’m quite ready to be(even a surrogate) father, but that also seems to be a disproportionate amount of single furs my age that seem potentially worthwhile.

Well, we’ll see if we find someone worthy of this dragon, hopefully sooner rather than later.

And speaking of tomorrow, tomorrow is US Toy Fair, which means- TRANSFORMERS!  We’ll get to see a preview of what’s coming for the toyline(s) over the next half-year(or more) and given the leaked list of coming toys, there’s still a lot we’re all waiting with bated breath to see.  For me personally, I’m waiting to see if the Jhiaxus figure is going to be in RiD colors or G2 colors, and what Arcee, Brainstorm, Roadbuster, and Gnaw look like.

I’m really hoping that Brainstorm is a headmaster, as we’ve only had two since G1, and both of those were in the Unicron trilogy.  Gnaw I’m hoping is a (fairly) faithful recreation of the original Sharkticon design so I can have one on my desk without having to worry about it getting damaged by co-workers messing with it.  Roadbuster is a character I’ve not been overly fond of, but with Whirl and Springer, I need him to add to my Wreckers group.  Arcee, if it’s the G1 version, I just want for my future 1986 movie display.  The animated one works okay, but the proportions are slightly off compared to the CHUG designs. The movie designs on the other hand I’ve not been overly fond of, so I’ll likely be saving a bunch of money thanks to that this year.

I think I’ll leave it at that for now.  I do have more arts to show, but I’ve got another one on the way(as far as I know) so I’ll wait a bit longer and see if I can do a double feature or not.  After all, what’s better than bloo dragun other than MOAR DRAGUN!!11

Draconic Perceptions

Llewelyn by Asyd Rayn

More arts!  Asyd knocked this one out surprisingly fast.  *preens*  No CITMON slots yet though, and Aaros had his screen break on his new tablet, so no arts from him still too.  So far though, each of the artists I’ve gotten art from has had a different strong point.  Rhoa does awesome (and fitting)scenery, Leilryu/Isvoc is super-detailed, and Asyd is great at capturing emotion.  That’s not the only thing great about each of their arts, but when I compare them it’s why I like each one, and it makes a great determination if I want any future arts of who to have draw them, depending on what’s most important.

The other part of this post was some reflections that I originally had/wanted to write about a few days ago, but was too tired to.  That night I was feeling very… dragon-y is the only way I can put it.  But what does that mean?

Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder to describe now, long after it subsided.  The first component though is a feeling of restlessness, like I want to stalk around somewhere, and not just that but in a draconic shape as well.  It feels like a power inside the chest, that you want to lift your head and rawr to the skies above.  My hands felt like claws that I wanted to dig into something, and feel my claws digging into the ground beneath them.  There was even a bit of a ghost sensation, though very faint, of wings, and if I’d had a tail it would have been lashing.  Layered on top of all that though is the need to DO something, to BE dragon, when it strikes.

I’ve dealt with it in the past by writing a few times, but mostly I’ve used Second Life as a catharsis for these sorts of feelings when they get strong enough to notice, and go poke around there in a virtual representation of my dragon self.  Since I started logging in again though, as I’ve lamented in the past, most of my old hangouts are gone or don’t usually have very many around, and I haven’t really found any new ones yet.  With that and how tired I was that day as I mentioned, I just slept it off.

It’s a great feeling, but it’s also aggravating when you can’t do anything about it!  Like when your back is itching in that one spot you can almost reach – annoying when you can’t, but when you can scratch that itch, it’s oh-so-wonderful.

Rawr!

The snow never stops!

The snow’s been crazy this year, compared to what it’s been.  As soon as it starts to go away, another storm blows through and drops more on us!  It’s like the weather rolled back to the 90s or something.

Nothing much else been going on.  Seems like there was a bunch of furry drama that blew up FA, which is kind of old news now, but it got me to get my FA and Weasyl stuff up-to-date.  So far though seems like all the artists I watch have tried to stay clear of it and have just been posting stuff to both sites.  In fact, I found out an artist that had been on my list was possibly open, but she hasn’t responded yet.  Then again, with how big her backlog is, I’m not too surprised.  From what I can tell she hasn’t really been on in over a week, so at this point I’m just being patient, and if I do see an art update from her without any response, I’ll send a polite follow-up to see if the lack of response is a “no” or a “needs more info” or simply a “forgot about it.”

On the other side of the coin I’m caught up in writing again, though this’ll be a shorter story – only 2 parts, if I even break it up into parts this time.  In this case it was a combination of a mental image I wanted to put down on “paper”(and I can’t draw worth crap IMO) and the opportunity to finally write a scene I’d been itching to write for ages.  And neither of the scenes are adult, funnily enough!

….and I just brain farted an idea that’s either crazy or awesome(or both): MLP Trombe.  I blame SL and the proliferation of pony avatars therein.

Anyways, the story is over half done.  I just need to figure out armaments, write the space battle, then wrap it up with the “victory dance.”  I’ve got a feeling I know how it’s going to work out, but I have to write it to see.

Funnily enough, there’s almost no dragons around usually at IoW, just tinies, and lately I’ve seen an influx of ponies.  Where have all the dragons gone? *insert “I need a hero” montage*

Oh, and gamer Luna is best pony. 😛