Well, the piece of adult art I was waiting for has been finished, and no I won’t be posting it here. It has been posted in my art galleries though, if anyone is interested in it.
It brings to mind some interesting discussion, however; one that I’m still having with myself, to some extent. Why adult art? Should I share it or not? Is it liberating, demeaning, or something else? Does it trivialize how I feel about myself if I’m having art created flashing the goods to all and sundry? How does it compare to clean art?
To answer the first question, my dragon self is myself. For me, it encompasses every aspect of my being, which, yes, does include the sexual parts as well. If I were to somehow become my dragon self, I wouldn’t suddenly be sexless, and so it makes a sort of sense to explore that as well.
I feel I should probably clarify here as well. Yes, I am straight, and attracted to human women. Yes, I know dragons don’t exist physically currently. If they suddenly did, no I wouldn’t want to go make out with one, especially if they weren’t sentient. Now, if I had become a dragon too, through whatever had brought them into being? In that case, all bets are off.
I’d guess I really started thinking about it back when I had a dragonkin girlfriend for a short while. Suffice it to say that before we broke up we explored our draconity with each other and leave it at that. Either way, certain, ah, body parts were involved, which meant I had to explore that side and figure out what I had down there. And then of course, when I finally got a reference sheet drawn, it seemed a natural step to get an adult version as well as a clean version, just in case I ever needed it. After all, in the end it’s just another part of my body like any other.
Of course after I got the reference sheets, it was years before I actually got any further art, in large part due to monetary constraints. When I started getting pictures again, I found myself debating this topic once more. In large part, I was considering getting an adult piece from Asyd, but I wanted to see how I’d look in her style first, hence the picture I did actually get. I do have to admit I was also a bit uncertain about getting one done in general, but I did like the way her style works with those.
When I saw how busy she actually was though, I gave up on the idea for a bit – at least until my muse slapped me upside the head with an image I wanted to see done. With her off the table, I had to go artist shopping again to find one who had a style I liked and was available. The first artist I found actually was otherwise occupied, but shortly after Syrinoth opened up and I jumped on it in time to snag the slot.
It was a bit longer wait than I expected, but the end picture was worth it, and then I was faced with whether to share it or not. Just like in the picture, where I had mixed feelings on showing “myself” off(and he did a great job on the expression to show this!), I had the exact same feelings on putting the picture itself out there. Especially as there are a few folk who know me elsewhere who watch my FA, and I wasn’t sure what they’d think of it.
In the end, I decided to run with it(as I’m expecting it to show up in the artist’s gallery as well at some point), but with a disclaimer not to expect a lot of adult art, as I have mixed feelings on it in general. I do know I will be getting at least one more piece though, as my muse spoke up again with another picture idea that I need to make a reality, though it will probably be a while as the artist I’m looking to have draw it is busy with school currently.
Part of what inclines me towards it is I think I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, and this is a “safe” way to indulge that. Kinda ironic, given how shy I can be at times.. or maybe it’s because of that? That same shyness though is what disinclines me to sharing it publically in any fashion. If I followed that train of thought however, what would I do with it? My potential future girlfriend isn’t ‘kin or a furry, as far as I know, and it’s not like I’d want to put it up on my walls anywhere. Art that isn’t being viewed is art that is wasted, and I wouldn’t want good art to be lost to the void, whatever the content. Thus, the posting of this, and the one I have in the queue.
Another thing to note though is I am far from alone in this. There are many, many dragons out there who have gotten adult art of themselves, or of themselves and a friend/mate mounting or being mounted. They’re proud of their draconic forms(as I am) and aren’t afraid to show it off. In some cases, it also acts as a proxy too; a way to express themselves and perform in ways they are unable to in the real world for various reasons. In other cases, it’s merely a release or an ego boost for them, for similar reasons to those of some people that have mass amounts of one-night-stands. (Honestly, this is the artistic equivalent.) And in yet others, it’s just a way to show to the world how they feel about each other(as in the case of a pair of dragon artists I’ve mentioned in previous entries).
In my case, I’ve gotten art from most of the artists I wanted art from, so now it’s just waiting for when my muse prods my brain with an image to make real, whether adult or otherwise. However, since it is me in those pictures, there’s not going to be any art of myself making out with anyone else, unless it’s someone I care deeply about and they actually want such art done. Whatever my faults and sexual inclinations, one thing I am is loyal to whomever holds my heart. Even if they didn’t care, to me it’d feel like a betrayal if I were to get art of myself “laying” with anyone else’s characters.
On top of that, I’ve never felt any inclination to make up a character for myself to “play” with, as it’d feel just as fake as the various “waifus” some crowds will fawn over. The closest I’ve ever come to that is a couple stories I wrote where I had characters being dangerously close to self-inserts(I’m sure given that information any readers could probably pick out which ones too.), but in the end those were still just characters, not a true avatar of myself.
I’m sure there will be some folks though who will still think I’m debasing myself, and to them I say pfff. Humans(and that includes draconic humans!) are by nature sexual creatures and being ashamed of that is like being ashamed of liking meat- if that’s your thing, go for it! Does it matter what you like or do, if it hurts no one else? Of course, I’m sure there’s someone out there now who found my picture and is busy fantasizing about it, but that’s their problem and as long as they don’t get all up in my face, it’s all on them. I’m not on the hunt for a mate anymore, as I have someone I care about now, so it’s not like I’m flashing myself to get companions or lovers. I’m just… er… letting it all hang out?
Finally, there is something nice about getting art of oneself in general, no matter the content. It’s like taking another piece of that innermost self and bringing it into the real world, as much as one can at least. I guess one way to put it is that it’s like a selfie of the soul. It encapsulates a moment, a emotion, a feeling, and reveals it to the world. It sucks you in, and lets you live for a brief instant as what you truly are. The clean art lets me express the more public aspects of my dragon self, while the adult ones reveal the more personal, more instinctual desires and needs that are still just as much a part of me as any other.
I am not speaking for all ‘kin, or even a large portion, but for me, that’s what the art means to me. That’s what pushed me to follow through on my muse’s urgings and my personal inclinations.. It’s just another expression of my multifaceted self, and the dragon at the core of my very being.
And no, I’m still not going to post the aforementioned adult art here. If you really want to find it, you should be able to on your own, and I’d prefer to leave my blog work-safe, even if it gets a bit risque at times(like now).
Now to wait for more commissions to open…