Tag Archive for art

Galleries: Personal vs General

Let’s start off with – what exactly is a gallery?  To me, and for the purposes of this discussion, an image gallery is a collection of images with a common quality of some sort(be it artist, subject matter, or something else) posted online for public perusal, and not in a temporary fashion(IOW not imageboards).

The reason I want to lay out this definition at the beginning is that there are two different main kinds of galleries out there, and thinking about differences and reasons to use them is what started the gears turning on what will probably be another dragonwall by the end.

The first type is what I’m going to refer to as personal galleries.  These are galleries that you have full control over what goes in them, and no one else.  These are the meat of sites like FurAffinity, Weasyl, and SoFurry, and this style also bleeds over into Social Networking like Facebook, or other unfocused sites like imagur and tumblr.

These can serve several purposes, depending on the reason for their creation.  A lot of artists(especially on sites like FA or tumblr) are artists, and this allows them to show off their work for whatever reasons they may have, whether it be selling their skills, showing off some neat idea or image, or puffing up their ego.  Then there’s also those who aren’t artists, who may be sharing works that were created for them, again for similar reasons as the artist.  This is FA’s raison d’etre after all; to show art created “by you/for you”.

Separate from these are the general galleries.  Most of these fall into the imageboard category and thus outside the bounds of this discussion, but there are a few here and there that were created to focus on general subject matter, such as e621 and Herpy.  On these sites images are sorted and tagged by the content, but anyone(that registers) can post to the “gallery” for a given type of content. With these there might be some small acknowledgement somewhere of who uploaded it, but primarily they present just the images all together in one giant melting pot, similar to what someone might have in terms of an Images folder on their computer.

Now, as to what prompted this.

As seen in many of my previous posts, I’ve been commissioning art of myself quite a bit since the turn of the year.  I’ve posted them to my own galleries, and the artists have mostly done this as well, though there are a few who still have yet to post it themselves.  A few of these artists are actually fairly well-known among the furry community.  A while back, when I got that first adult picture, I ended up running across it on both of the galleries I named above, though without any of the context being included by the uploader.  When I got the adult second picture of myself a short while later, from a lesser-known artist, it never showed up on either, and in fact has yet to show up, despite it being “sexier” in my opinion(and at least one other person’s).

I got as far as registering an account at e621, but never got around to tagging it properly there, and I have yet to register at Herpy. I recently considered whether I should put up the other pictures, and decided to go poking using a well-known example.

Just like there are artists well-known for their quality and subject matter, there are also some dragons who have commissioned a lot of art from a lot of artists and have become rather well-known.  This was actually how I found some of the artists I’ve patronized: browse the gallery of some of these popular dragons and follow the images I like back to their source artist, and go from there.  Do this for long enough in one sitting you can even sort of start to see how the dragon artists and the more art-prolific dragons interweave in a huge web, and even between each other.

To name a specific example, Byzil is one I was aware of long ago(relatively) and one of the first dragons that I gallery-dived to find artists.  In this case, I used her art as a test to see what would show up on e621 and if any of it had come from the artist or the dragon herself. From a semi-random sampling, all of them were posted by others, and most of it was either of an adult nature, or on the cute end of the spectrum.

Just browsing any general subject on e621 it becomes very obvious that for most art to be uploaded it has to be either a) epic, b) erotic, or c) adorable.  Herpy is even easier to categorize, as the main board sections are split up by erotic content and the non-adult section is mostly full of fanart of well-known mainstream dragons e.g. Spyro and Eragon.  They do straddle the line a bit however as there are some artists that have their own personal galleries there as well, but that is not germane to the discussion at this time.

One thing I’ve considered is exposure.  With how fast the front page on most of the furry galleries moves, and with how much crud there is surrounding the decent pictures, it’s easy for new submissions to get lost without being noticed by a sizable amount of folks unless you’re already well-known, or the art is obviously very good.  There’s just so much content that the chances of someone stumbling on your gallery by accident are fairly low as well.

When you commission well-known artists however, folks who like your image might follow the link back to your gallery and follow you as well to see what other pictures you might commission. I know this is a thing as after a couple artists I’ve gotten art from I’ve had new watches as well for just this reason.  It gives you more exposure to the art, and what is the point of art if no one sees it?

Well these general galleries have even more exposure, but it’s of a different kind. There’s a lot of folks who just go to these sites just for new fap material, and the adult art of varying quality far outnumbers the “clean” art of any stripe on e621.  Herpy, well I went into that just a little bit further up.

This got me into wondering; do I want that sort of attention?

Some would say if I didn’t I should never have posted the pics I got, or for that matter have commissioned them in the first place.  Well, as I may have said, looking back I’ve realized I have a streak of exhibitionism, and this plays to that tendency.  I also have a tendency towards shyness as well among strangers, so that wars against that urge, which leads to the mixed feelings I have on the topic in general.  I guess you could say I like showing off, but on my terms.

Anyways, some of the comments I’ve seen on Herpy have gotten into the downright creepy range. Compliments are one thing, but making RP advances towards the subjects of the image are another entirely.  If this were just a random character, that would also reduce the impact; or for that matter, it might even be encouraged! In this case however, this IS me.  I would guess this must be what it feels like to be a moderately attractive young lady finding your picture online with creepy guys talking about how they’d like to bed you in various graphic ways.

Just like anyone can post images on them, anyone can post comments, so even if I posted an image myself I wouldn’t be able to moderate the comments if they started getting out of hand.  On the other hand, some of this art is just plain nice regardless of the content and I’d like to share it.  Especially if it’s by one of the underrated artists who get lost in the Catch-22 of getting attention in the first place.

For now, if it ends up there it ends up there, I think.  I won’t purposefully post anything at the moment, but if someone else does, it’s not like I have any control over it.  Once I get my new ref sheet and get another pic or two that I have in mind, I may post the other adult works that haven’t made it up, and just try and ignore any unwanted advances.  It’s not like they’ll ever have any option or opportunity to try to bed me, as that privilege belongs solely to my mate, whenever she wishes to claim it.

And after all as the saying goes, if you’ve got it, flaunt it!

Out of the Shadows

I picked up Shadowrun Returns around the start of the month, but only recently started playing it.  And of course, once I did, I was sucked in pretty heavy, which the sign of a good RPG, despite what people said about the main campaign being railroad-y.

I ran a combination decker/rigger dwarf and the story felt very Shadowrun.  It also to my pleasant surprise tied into the novels, though I can’t say which one without it spoiling the end of the plot.  I only ran it on normal and got what felt like probably too much karma, but it felt fairly fluid going between handling the drones and into decking the times it was needed.  The only downside was I couldn’t put the drones on auto-overwatch and they just hung out wherever they were at when I jacked in rather than returning to my side.  I liked the character enough actually i may recreate it in regular Shadowrun if I ever get to play it again.

For the second DLC campaign I’m trying an elven shaman/mage/face, at least as much as face is a thing in the game.  That’s one of the things I’m actually slightly disappointed in: the skill system.

It has all the trappings, but it cut out all the social skills and made them perks on the Charisma stat track, which cuts out most of the point of the Face character.  Dialogue conversations also don’t seem to “roll” like it might with Bioware and similar games, but just gives you additional options if your appropriate stat is high enough.  The meat of the game seems to be the combat here, as far as ties to the game system.

Speaking of which, one thing that would have been nice as well is a combat log.  The combat on the surface seems to have little resemblance to the actual Shadowrun combat rules, as all it gives is HP and percentages, rather than dice pools and so on.  I like that they actually include cover though!

In the end though, it still feels very Shadowrun, despite lacking the dice transparency that some of the D&D-based games have had.  it also looks like there’s a bunch of player-made modules ala Neverwinter Nights, so whenever I get back to playing through Dragonfall, I might toy with those after that.

Leaving the gaming arena, the art situation has finally moved on as well.

  • The badge from Asyd is in the sketching stage now, though there’s still higher priority stuff for her to finish first.
  • Tanraak has basically retired from drawing for now as he has not been happy with any of his drawings the past few months, so he is sending out refunds as he is able to.  I still would like to get this concept sketched, so I’m back to watching for artists.  I’m also kind of wanting to wait though on the new referance sheet to be finished.
  • Miss Maverick’s made a bunch of adjustments to the planning sketch for the reference sheet from my input and we just got it to a point today where everything is pretty much right.  As such, she’s going to be starting on the colors next.  I’m not sure how long it’s going to take but I think I’m going to be very satisfied with it when its done..  It’s also a bit more pricey than any of the other pictures I’ve gotten, but that’s standard for ref sheets due to the detail involved and multiple pictures inherent to it.
  • As to the picture from CurioDraco of my dragoness and myself?  Well…

Llewelyn and Kaitlyn

Let’s just say we were both very happy with the results and leave it at that. ^..^

ADDITIONAL UPDATE

Extra special bonus round!  I just found out I got picked from Fortuna’s freebie list!  Yay for extra special bonus art!

1406914592.fortuna_dekafox

Time flies

So my birthday came and went, and I’ve now rode this ball of dirt and air around the sun another full time. Saw the new Transformers movie and it was better than the last two I have to say.  Didn’t sell me on characters but it was a better experience I felt.

Now that I look it’s been about 3 weeks since my last post, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.  I suppose it’s a matter of scale.  When you’re younger, every day is a larger portion of your total life, and there’s so much ahead still that it feels like it drags.  Once you get past your mid-20s, you’ve lived a lot more so each day feels less significant, not to mention that not much changes(unless you have children) for many years after.  Same reason that when you get older age gaps can be bigger without getting into the weird zone.

Still mostly hanging with my mate and playing D3 when she’s not around.  So far I’ve played everything except Demon Hunter, and I’m liking Wizard and Crusader the best, followed by Barb.  Witch Doctor is efficient but not as fun to me.. although all the pets make some enemies not near as annoying.  The only thing I enjoyed about the monk was Explosive Palm making things go boom, and that got nerfed heavy.  2.1 patch is retooling all that though, so afterwards, we’ll see.

2.1 also brings in the seasons to D3, and I might play it but I don’t know if I’ll go Crusader or Wizard.  It’s actually kinda funny, considering that I can make the Wizard play like the Wind Druid, one of my favorites from D2, and the Crusader is the rebuild of the paladin from D2, which was the other D2 class I played a bunch.  No Auradin, but looking at trying Holy Shotgun on my Crusaders once they cap out and I can get the gear for it.

Artwise, no real change apart form the CurioDraco piece is actually in progress now.  I should probably poke the other two just to see if there’s any word on progress, since it’s been months now since the last update.

I am getting going on getting that referance sheet now also that I was talking about.  Maverick updated her Trello and had some new Ref sheets, so I asked and she did have an open ref sheet spot in her queue!  Working hashing out the initial sketch sketch still, but it has gotten me to think on a few things again that I hadn’t before about my body.  Like for example I had been planning on a black mouth and tongue, but after trying it out in SL(as she was thinking flesh was better) I did find it worked better.  My gf also spotted a change that needed to be done with my horns that I’d overlooked, funnily enough.  There’s going to be clean and adult versions too, which’ll be useful, and Miss Maverick does a very good job at capturing expressions.

Don’t really have anything else of note to talk about right now so going to close it out there.  Until next time!

Sweet Emotion

Time for another of those shouts out into the vast void of the Interwebs!

Last night, after I said goodnight to my love and was getting ready for bed, I was thinking back on the day and realized my mood hadn’t changed much for most of the day(apart from when I surprised her with some art that I’ll get into later).  It was an odd feeling, but after a few minutes though I was able to put a name to it: I was content.

Strange that something so simple is so elusive in the modern world, so uncommon that it’s not recognized immediately anymore.  Yet there it is, after spending a day mostly split between Diablo 3 and time in SL with my mate.

I guess our lives are so sped up and micromanaged by various companies wanting siphons in our wallets, not to mention work pressures, that it’s hard to find those quiet times anymore.  “Feeling anything other than nondescript happy?  There’s a drug for that!”  “A normal person is happy.  You ARE normal, aren’t you?” “Look at these awesome stars you’ll never be as good at unless you buy our stuff!”

These days we’re constantly pushed and pulled in so many different directions and ways that equilibrium is hard to find.  It’s a bit like Bilbo described in the LotR stuff; “A bit like too little butter spread over too much bread” or jam or whatever it was.  Everything is “GOGOGOGO NOWNOWNOW” from the intense lows of a manager or customer leaning into your face tearing you a new one because this color isn’t exactly like that color, never mind it’s the same color, to the intense highs of getting that brand new sportscar to show off to your coworkers like you’re getting paid twice what you are.

Things are going great or things are going shitty, and you’re expected to react appropriately and that there’s something wrong with you otherwise.

There’s also the perception among current US culture that if you’re not on top of the heap, you should be reaching for more.  “Everything for me and mine; hell take the hindmost” is a common sentiment if you break things down.  You don’t even need to deny it; just look at the laws that get passed or repealed, and what all the lobbying groups push for.  If you’re not making progress or sitting at the top, you don’t deserve to be happy, and god forbid that you actually backslide!  Everyone knows that never happens to anyone who doesn’t deserve it, right?  Therefore, if you backslide you must be a horrible horrible person and you deserve all the bad things the rich men do to you.

I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s “unfashionable” to be content.  Honestly, there’s still things I want and want to change, but for that day there was just me, my mate, my friends, and a game I find fun, and that was enough for that day.  It was a simple happy, not the extreme high that most seem to think of as happy these days.  In fact, thinking about it, I’m sure there’s some that would qualify anything outside that extreme high as being unhappy, and treat it with “medication”(whether legal or not).

It’s actually kind of sad that this is a thing.  I guess that’s why some folks reject the modern world and pine for older days, when things were simpler, less hectic, and less inclined to extremes.  There’s still plenty of room though to step back and enjoy a simple day, leaving the worries of the world behind and just enjoy the moment, even when you work in IT!

Now as to the other moment I mentioned earlier, I had been wanting to get my girl a picture of her dragoness playing the keytar(as she does in a band in SL) for a couple months now.  There was a specific artist who does really inexpensive stream sketch commissions, but they’d been working on full commissions for a while and hadn’t done a stream since March!  Friday, I found they were opening on Saturday afternoon.  I probably had the dopiest grin on my face on and off that afternoon as I pondered getting to surprise her with that, since she never got any art before now.

When the time got close, I was a bit nervous, since we were also running a race event on SL, and I wanted her in the stream while it was being drawn.  I paused for a few minutes to let some other people get their entries in before mine so they wouldn’t overlap, which worked like a charm.  Then however, there was some confusion about the race that looked like it would delay things, but by the time my queue slot came around the after-race party was well underway.

When I was getting her into the stream, I didn’t tell her what it was for other than she would really want to see this, and the whole time I was feeling the urge to giggle or snicker in anticipation of her reaction, which was fairly close to what I had figured.  The picture came out pretty good, if a little bit different from what I had expected, but she loved it, which gave me that bubbly happy feeling from seeing her happy about it.

Since I had gotten to surprise her with that one, I went ahead and told her about the other commission I had gotten, that was of both of us.  That one is more of a slow burn as that commission is going to be worked on over July, and I hope we both like that one just as much as this one – it’s just harder when you’re working without a solid reference, and her SL av is still a WIP.

Which I suppose is a good time to go back over my art queue.

  • Badge from Acidapluvia – She’s been busy with life, but she finally got around to updating her Trello queue listing last week and it’s showing as in-progress now, so yay!  Not sure if it’s going to be just the image or it’ll be physical, so will find that out when she gets it done.
  • Adult pic from Tanraak – Got a sketch, he tried to work on it for a bit, wasn’t satisfied with it and redrew it, although honestly I liked the first sketch also.  After the last review of the new sketch I haven’t heard back in a month, but he’s had some motivation problems recently so been cutting him some slack before I poke him to find out about any form of progress.
  • The aforementioned couple pic from CurioDraco – Got confirmation and sent payment over the weekend, and it’s part of a batch that will be worked on over the month of July.  I’d been wanting some art from her and I’d been wanting to get a pic of me and Kait so this works out perfectly.

On a side note, advice for anyone who is looking for good dragon artists, whether adult or otherwise: Look through the gallery and favorites of some of the more commonly drawn dragons, like Byzil and her friends – that’s how I found most of the dragon artists I’m watching.

Stay A While And Listen

Overdue for another post, looks like.  Got no real fancy ponderings going on this time, just time to look back at life and decompress.

First, an art update.  That speedpaint ended up with a pose that’s not quite something I would have done(though the thought has crossed my mind a few times) but the end result was, in a word, hot.  And that’s not so much my opinion, but several others have mentioned it, including an artist who’s also working on something of an adult nature for me.  This third piece will probably be the last one for a while, as I’m out of ideas on what other poses to get for the moment.  At this point I’m mostly just getting them to “test” the artist for the refsheet, as that is next on my agenda, besides the few remaining pictures sitting on my “To get” and “In Progress” lists.

At the moment I’m strongly inclined towards FsMaverick, who did the speedpainting, but she’s got a bunch of speedpaintings to knock out first to get caught up, and there’s still a couple other artists I’m eyeing too.  I missed out on a YCH pic would would have been perfect for me and my dragoness though from Natoli and Rastaban, but Natoli should be re-opening around the 6th and then I can get the pic I’ve been waiting on getting from them.  I’ve also got a message out to Sidian about a cute clean pic that I’m waiting to hear back on.

I canceled my WoW sub, and I didn’t miss much… the guild did Cata last two weeks so I was fine with missing it.  I tried Wildstar as it was in Open beta, but it didn’t feel right to me.  I love the ideas behind it but something in it was lacking for me.  Maybe art decisions?

On the other hand, I finally got D3 running properly on my machine and tried out the demo portion, and it was fun!  The gameplay actually felt like Diablo 2, and once I got used to the way the game worked again it felt right, and the demo ended way too soon. I thought about it a bit, and ended up buying the game and xpac.  Originally I was debating Istaria or Wildstar for my WoW-replacement game, but looks like it’s gonna be D3.

I started off with a Wizard, and my next character is going to be a Monk.  I have to say I’m enjoying the way the Wizard plays.  It’s not quite the same as my old D2 Wind Druid, but it’s close enough.  I haven’t looked much into builds or whatnot, but so far for leveling I finally found a combo that works for me where I use all my abilities, at least for leveling.  At the moment I’m using ice missiles combined with Disintegrate for my main attacks, and for my others I’m using Frost Nova, Hydra(Arcane currently), Magic Weapon, and Mirror Image.  It’s working fairly well for me for leveling at this stage, and once I get near the end or I start dying a lot then I may dig further into it.

Work-wise, I need to get around to studying for my Server+.  Unfortunately, the free study materials out there don’t look to be the best.  The crazy part is I’m doing server level work, but it’s all the terminology you gotta remember that’s prolly gonna cause me problems.  But still, I’ve got find time now for that between that, D3, and spending time with my girl.  She has D3, but hasn’t touched it yet… would be nice to play that with her, but she’s got so much other stuff it’s prolly gonna be a case of I’ll be playing it when she’s not around.

I should also start house-hunting again next month, as something I’ve been waiting on should be going through.  Need to wait to make sure, but then it’s looking for places.  I’ve also been doing some thinking and if things keep going as they have, I’m actually a fair bit more mobile than my dragoness is as far as moving.  She’s got her friends and her job down there, most of my friends right now are online or coworkers.  That’s still a ways in the future though, so not gonna worry my tail about it now.

Got nothing else really to talk about, so I’ll leave it there.  Until next time!

Commitments

Been a little while since my last post, but there hasn’t really been anything other than minor life updates that I felt were worth writing about, and I felt like just writing a few sentences would be a waste.  I’ve tried to keep up a blog before that petered out, and when I started this one I told myself I’d make sure that wouldn’t happen with this one.  It’s a commitment I still intend to keep, and actually that’s what the theme of this post will be revolving around.

Before I dive into that though I may as well mention those life updates.

First, in the matter of art. Besides the badge I’ve been waiting on, I’ve got 2 more adult pieces I’m currently waiting on.  One I’m not expecting anytime soon, as the artist both has school issues and issues with his tablet.  He’s done awesome work(both for me and others) so it’s worth waiting.  The other was more of an opportunity thing.

You see, I’ve been considering getting my reference sheet redone as there are a few things that need correcting now, so I’ve been keeping an eye out for artists I might like to do it.  Most of the ones that I feel would do me justice I haven’t gotten art from yet though, and ref sheets seem to typically run between $150-$200.  I’m not about to blow that much on an artist when I don’t know how I’ll look in their style, bits and all.  One of the artists I was eyeing though had an issue come up and opened emergency speedpaint commissions, so I jumped on that to see how it comes out.  One thing interesting is instead of a pose description, we gave them personality traits and reference sheets, and they go from there.  It’s not first-come-first-serve, though I am in the first round, so I’m not sure how soon they’ll get to me.

… And actually, you know what?  I just realized I do have a non-adult picture I can share, that I totally forgot about listing here!  When I was doing my ref sheet searching, I found another artist I liked had a couple commission spots open so I snagged a pic I’d been wanting: a nice flying picture.

Above The Clouds

Just look at that happy dragon!  Such a nice day to fly on~

I’ve got other reasons to be a happy dragon too.  Things are going great between my dragoness and I, and there is most definitely an us now.  Sunday for example we got to hang out together most of the day; playing cheezi, wandering around the Raglan art walk, and other such sundry things.  We were thinking about hitting the Fantasy Faire together this evening, but it’s a Tuesday, and that means Raid Night.

Since 2008, most of my Tuesday nights, Thursday Nights, and Sunday Nights have been spent with 9 other folks in WoW fighting internet demons and greyhawking their bodies.  The guild I was with in Wrath raided up until the xpac changeover, as it took us a long time to get the Lich King down.  Then in Cata I raided up until near the end, but in Heroic at the end, only taking a break about a month before the new expac came out.  Now with WoD not coming out until Fall, unlike previous xpacs I’m feeling pretty done with WoW until new content comes. Most of my current raiding guild feels the same, so as of last week we’re done with progression until nerfs or new content comes.  As a guild we’ll probably faceroll through some old content and faff around still, but I’ll be taking a break from WoW and canceling my sub for the first time since I started in a couple weeks, once my current time runs out.

Now I’ve got no idea who’s going to show up tonight or what we’re going to do, but I’d honestly prefer to wander the Faire with my dragoness, barring a few specific runs which I don’t know if we’ll be doing.  I also feel a bit bad about putting the raid over her suggestion, but I’d basically already committed to showing up, so I’m going to see what my guild’s doing and decide then.

You see, once I commit to something I always do my best to follow through on it.  I’ve long admired the idea of honor and I try my best to live to my word if I give it.  Because of this, I don’t always jump up and volunteer or can waffle on things, because I know what committing to it means.  It also means I sometimes get annoyed when I get voluntold to do something and it’s something I can’t do(which happens sometimes at work) or if other people don’t keep up on their commitments when they should be able to- especially when it affects me too.

Of course there’s times when it’s unavoidable, due to conflicts that come up later, as in the case of tonight.  In those cases, all I can do is prioritize.  In general, Most people say(and I agree) that RL > online. This makes sense, as typically anything RL can have an immediate effect on you, while most online things are either for entertainment or something that is not immediate.  Especially when you’re on-call – after all, work is what keeps the bills paid!

The distinction blurs though in my opinion when real people are involved.  A WoW raid team is more like a sports hobby team than a bunch of guys getting together to shoot the shit.  If you don’t show up, it’s not just you, but 9 or more other people that are affected, that are just as real as you despite their distance.  In the same vein, my dragoness owns my heart fully, and whether she’s by my side or several hundred miles away doesn’t matter in that respect.  I’m still hers, and she still has the same place in my life as any other guy’s girlfriend would have in his.

A second layer though then adds on to this: lost opportunities.  Every moment we live, we’re deciding to do one thing, and losing the opportunity to do something else.  Every tick of the clock, another slice of our time in this world spent.  Tock, a doorway closes and another opens.  When we choose to do something, we’re giving up whatever else we could have done.  So, opportunities that may not come again should have priority, as once it’s gone, it’s gone.

Looking at tonight as an example, while my dragoness is important to me, we could wander the Faire just as easily tomorrow as today, as far as I am aware.  Raid night is every week, but with dropping my sub  I probably won’t be running this stuff with these guys for a while.  On the other hand, if it’s something I’m not interested in running, like Cata content, I’d much rather be with my dragoness instead.  In other words, this time there’s no easy answer, and there won’t always be either.

I don’t really have anything else to add, so I’ll leave it at that, and see how things work tonight.  Tomorrow might be a better night anyways, as we have a couple gigs tonight with maybe an hour between them, but we’ll see!

 

An Adult Touch

Well, the piece of adult art I was waiting for has been finished, and no I won’t be posting it here.  It has been posted in my art galleries though, if anyone is interested in it.

It brings to mind some interesting discussion, however; one that I’m still having with myself, to some extent.  Why adult art?  Should  I share it or not?  Is it liberating, demeaning, or something else?  Does it trivialize how I feel about myself if I’m having art created flashing the goods to all and sundry? How does it compare to clean art?

To answer the first question, my dragon self is myself.  For me, it encompasses every aspect of my being, which, yes, does include the sexual parts as well.  If I were to somehow become my dragon self, I wouldn’t suddenly be sexless, and so it makes a sort of sense to explore that as well.

I feel I should probably clarify here as well.  Yes, I am straight, and attracted to human women.  Yes, I know dragons don’t exist physically currently.  If they suddenly did, no I wouldn’t want to go make out with one, especially if they weren’t sentient.  Now, if I had become a dragon too, through whatever had brought them into being?  In that case, all bets are off.

I’d guess I really started thinking about it back when I had a dragonkin girlfriend for a short while.  Suffice it to say that before we broke up we explored our draconity with each other and leave it at that.  Either way, certain, ah, body parts were involved, which meant I had to explore that side and figure out what I had down there.  And then of course, when I finally got a reference sheet drawn, it seemed a natural step to get an adult version as well as a clean version, just in case I ever needed it.  After all, in the end it’s just another part of my body like any other.

Of course after I got the reference sheets, it was years before I actually got any further art, in large part due to monetary constraints.  When I started getting pictures again, I found myself debating this topic once more.  In large part, I was considering getting an adult piece from Asyd, but I wanted to see how I’d look in her style first, hence the picture I did actually get.  I do have to admit I was also a bit uncertain about getting one done in general, but I did like the way her style works with those.

When I saw how busy she actually was though, I gave up on the idea for a bit – at least until my muse slapped me upside the head with an image I wanted to see done.  With her off the table, I had to go artist shopping again to find one who had a style I liked and was available.  The first artist I found actually was otherwise occupied, but shortly after Syrinoth opened up and I jumped on it in time to snag the slot.

It was a bit longer wait than I expected, but the end picture was worth it, and then I was faced with whether to share it or not.  Just like in the picture, where I had mixed feelings on showing “myself” off(and he did a great job on the expression to show this!), I had the exact same feelings on putting the picture itself out there.  Especially as there are a few folk who know me elsewhere who watch my FA, and I wasn’t sure what they’d think of it.

In the end, I decided to run with it(as I’m expecting it to show up in the artist’s gallery as well at some point), but with a disclaimer not to expect a lot of adult art, as I have mixed feelings on it in general.  I do know I will be getting at least one more piece though, as my muse spoke up again with another picture idea that I need to make a reality, though it will probably be a while as the artist I’m looking to have draw it is busy with school currently.

Part of what inclines me towards it is I think I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, and this is a “safe” way to indulge that. Kinda ironic, given how shy I can be at times.. or maybe it’s because of that?  That same shyness though is what disinclines me to sharing it publically in any fashion.  If I followed that train of thought however, what would I do with it?  My potential future girlfriend isn’t ‘kin or a furry, as far as I know, and it’s not like I’d want to put it up on my walls anywhere.  Art that isn’t being viewed is art that is wasted, and  I wouldn’t want good art to be lost to the void, whatever the content.  Thus, the posting of this, and the one I have in the queue.

Another thing to note though is I am far from alone in this.  There are many, many dragons out there who have gotten adult art of themselves, or of themselves and a friend/mate mounting or being mounted.  They’re proud of their draconic forms(as I am) and aren’t afraid to show it off.  In some cases, it also acts as a proxy too; a way to express themselves and perform in ways they are unable to in the real world for various reasons.  In other cases, it’s merely a release or an ego boost for them, for similar reasons to those of some people that have mass amounts of one-night-stands. (Honestly, this is the artistic equivalent.)  And in yet others, it’s just a way to show to the world how they feel about each other(as in the case of a pair of dragon artists I’ve mentioned in previous entries).

In my case, I’ve gotten art from most of the artists I wanted art from, so now it’s just waiting for when my muse prods my brain with an image to make real, whether adult or otherwise.  However, since it is me in those pictures, there’s not going to be any art of myself making out with anyone else, unless it’s someone I care deeply about and they actually want such art done.  Whatever my faults and sexual inclinations, one thing I am is loyal to whomever holds my heart.  Even if they didn’t care, to me it’d feel like a betrayal if I were to get art of myself “laying” with anyone else’s characters.

On top of that, I’ve never felt any inclination to make up a character for myself to “play” with, as it’d feel just as fake as the various “waifus” some crowds will fawn over.  The closest I’ve ever come to that is a couple stories I wrote where I had characters being dangerously close to self-inserts(I’m sure given that information any readers could probably pick out which ones too.), but in the end those were still just characters, not a true avatar of myself.

I’m sure there will be some folks though who will still think I’m debasing myself, and to them I say pfff. Humans(and that includes draconic humans!) are by nature sexual creatures and being ashamed of that is like being ashamed of liking meat- if that’s your thing, go for it! Does it matter what you like or do, if it hurts no one else?  Of course, I’m sure there’s someone out there now who found my picture and is busy fantasizing about it, but that’s their problem and as long as they don’t get all up in my face, it’s all on them.  I’m not on the hunt for a mate anymore, as I have someone I care about now, so it’s not like I’m flashing myself to get companions or lovers.  I’m just… er… letting it all hang out?

Finally, there is something nice about getting art of oneself in general, no matter the content.  It’s like taking another piece of that innermost self and bringing it into the real world, as much as one can at least.  I guess one way to put it is that it’s like a selfie of the soul.  It encapsulates a moment, a emotion, a feeling, and reveals it to the world.  It sucks you in, and lets you live for a brief instant as what you truly are.  The clean art lets me express the more public aspects of my dragon self, while the adult ones reveal the more personal, more instinctual desires and needs that are still just as much a part of me as any other.

I am not speaking for all ‘kin, or even a large portion, but for me, that’s what the art means to me.  That’s what pushed me to follow through on my muse’s urgings and my personal inclinations..  It’s just another expression of my multifaceted self, and the dragon at the core of my very being.

And no, I’m still not going to post the aforementioned adult art here.  If you really want to find it, you should be able to on your own, and I’d prefer to leave my blog work-safe, even if it gets a bit risque at times(like now).

Now to wait for more commissions to open…

And now for something completely different…

It’s random bullshit time!  In other words, not much philosophy, more general cheering and bitching and random life events and wait is this thing on?

Anyways…

If you live in the US, it’s tax time!  This year is probably the easiest I’ll have it from here on out, as I didn’t have anything really to give me any extra tax breaks, so I just had to enter the W2 info and answer no to a lot of things.  However, because of that I apparently ended up even-steven with the state, and owing the Feds $1, which is already taken care of.  No refunds, but on the other hand I didn’t really owe anything either.  $1, big whoop.

Second bit of news is that apparently there’s a true spiritual successor to Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri coming out!  They can’t use the name since it’s owned by EA, but it’s due out in the fall, but teh screenshots look promising.  Then again, I haven’t touched a Civ game since Civ2 and Alpha Cen, so there’ll prolly be all sorts of new things too.  And even better, it’ll be supported officially on Linux from the start!

Speaking of Linux, this Thursday the 17th is the release date of the next (x)ubuntu LTS, 14.04.  I’ve made it a habit to stick with the LTS until the next one or until something major needs some library that hasn’t or won’t be backported.  I’ve managed to make 12.04 work fine on my desktop until this week, when I found out that apparently my media players fail at Wavpack in MKV, at least however Over-Time does it.  Just means I’ll have to drop a resolution to watch it, and presumably it won’t be an issue after this week.

One nice thing is that I can upgrade straight from 12.04 to 14.04, as long as my install is up to date, which I’m actually doing right now as I write this.  When I went from 10.04 to 12.04 I had to go through the intermediate distros I think… didn’t matter in the end, since I did a fresh install when I got my SSD drive anyways.  My laptop is actually still on 10.04, but I’m planning on backing that up and giving it a clean install coming up here.  Really tempted to do that before I upgrade my desktop, but we’ll see.

In other news, work’s looking to get crazy real soon too… one of the people on my team left end of last week, and we have a bunch of upcoming projects which were gonna tie us up some even without that.  For once, our sales team was just too good!

Getting away from that a bit, since I’m not really looking forward to tomorrow, art is pretty much still in a holding pattern.  No word yet on the pic from Syrinoth, but considering they just moved a little over 3 weeks ago, they could still be busy settling in, or just getting all the commissions done at once for one huge art dump!  Just wish I knew how far down the list I am, and like I mentioned, that pic is one that won’t be reposted here due to content.

The only other piece I have out being worked on is the conbadge, and that artist is still clearing out her queue, so no doubt it’ll be a while longer before she gets far enough down it to get to mine.  There’s people that have been waiting far longer for their stuff after all!

I’m also still keeping an eye on Natoli’s progress through her commissions… I’ve got a specific pic in mind still that I’d like to get, once she finishes.  Form the looks of the progress, it should hopefully be within the next month.  Barring that, if they get around to doing another weekend stream sketch session, I’ll probably snag a slot.  Not for myself, but as a gift for a certain dragoness who apparently hasn’t gotten any arts done before.

Speaking of which, last week I took a long, hard look at how I felt, and manned dragoned up and let her know I was possibly interested in something more than friends.  She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either, and the feeling I got from her replies is that she felt at least somewhat similarly, but she hadn’t fully looked at it before then.  Basically the comments that got me to say something was something she’d come up with in a moment of kinda-sorta-not-really panic when a mutual friend almost threw a wrench in the works without realizing that’s what he was doing.

So basically to sum it up we’re still keepin on keepin on, so to speak, and seeing where things lead on its own.  And honestly?  I’m fine with that.  If things work out for us, great, and if they don’t, I’ll still have a great friend, so it’s win-win!  My worst fear was that I’d been totally misreading things and that I’d scare her off, but thankfully that wasn’t the case, and that was a huge relief.  The entire day before, even though it was such a simple thing, I was nervous as all hell, and kept reminding myself in the words of  a favorite song of one of my friends, to “get up and try, try, try” because in the end it’s worth it.

I could probably write a bit more, but it’s late, I got work in the morning, and I don’t want to be drowsing out at my desk in the middle of the day.  Been thinking of taking vitamins or something, since Gatorade of all things seems to help, and I don’t drink coffee(or any caffinated beverage, really), but again, something for another time. So, I’ll leave you with this reminder, which helped me get through things, and that a certain pair of hatchies I know would like everyone to remember:

Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame

Where there’s a flame someone’s bound to get burned

Just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die

You gotta get up, and try, and try, and try…

Patience

Patience is hard.  In a world where everything is “faster faster, nownownow” we aren’t exactly encouraged to look at anything long term anymore.  Corporations look at the next quarter instead of 5 years ahead, everyone shopped with credit to get their gadgets right away, not to mention you can buy almost anything with the click of the mouse.  That blockbuster movie?  Don’t wait for it to come out on DVD and download a camrip instead.  And god forbid you have to do any real work to beat the boss and get your shinies!

In this internet-powered world of instant gratification, waiting is ever more difficult as you get used to the breakneck pace and instant availability of everything.  When that starts to get annoying, then it’s time to take a deep breath and remember what it takes to get some of these things.

One big example was Blizzard’s April Fool’s Day patch notes for WoD.  I kept cracking up as I read most of these… classic Blizzard humor(Chakra, when the walls fell!) with those couple of ideas that might actually be cool someday.  And then when I go to check the comments on MMO-C to see who else got some of those, what do I find but people bitching that they wasted time on what probably wasn’t more than an hour’s worth of work that could easily have been done during breaks.  Not only that, but it was probably their web team, which has no effect on the speed that WoD is coming out.

Apparently people couldn’t put aside their- yeah I’m gonna sue the word, because if the shoe fits- entitlement to laugh and enjoy some jokes, they’re taking a game way too seriously.  Yeah, Fall is a long time.  I might unsub myself for a few months depending on if we keep raiding or not.  A couple WoWless months isn’t the end of the world!

For my part, I’ve also got a couple pieces of art that I’ve been waiting for also.  One isn’t going to be posted here because reasons, and the other is one I been waiting on a while, but I knew that artist had a huge backlog that she’s still working through.  I’m actually finding it harder to wait for the one I’ve been waiting a shorter time on, but there’s two factors there:  I actually had a specific image in mind from the start, and with that artist he doesn’t have a publicly available waiting list.

Even if you’re near the bottom of the list, it’s still somehow easier when you can see just how far down you are on the list.  It’s like a visual reminder that yes, it is coming.

I’m also waiting on another artist to re-open commissions, and again the same factor here helps with the waiting.  They have a public list of the commissions on their list and how far they are, so it helps with the waiting… but also makes it a bit more intense as it gets close to time.

Either way it’s time to- as they say- hurry up and wait!

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

IT Foxdragon

 

Combination update and overdue art post.  I actually got the above picture about a month ago, but I held off because I had thought another commission might finish soon as well.  In the end, it didn’t, but I got another recently, so I figured now was a good time.  I also have two more being worked on, so there may be another art post in the near future, depending on when they get finished.

The above was from a Dragonlovers stream sketch.  As for the other, I snagged a picture from Aaros now that he’s got his tablet mojo working.

1394664705.aaros_dekafox

*poses* Just look at these wings!  Rawr!

Other than that, I have a couple more in the works as I said, and at least 2 more definite ones I want done, as I actually have an image in mind for them, not to mention specific artists in mind. So, it’s back to playing a waiting game for slots to re-open.

In other worlds, I’ve officially got the promotion now to go with the work I’ve been doing.  There’s other changes too that may be going through, though I can’t go into details as they’re not set-in-stone yet.

Relationship-wise, still in Limbo – in other words, technically there isn’t one yet.  So far, I’m still just coasting along and seeing where it leads.  From what I’ve heard if there’s nothing deeper to it it’ll die out in another month or two, so that’ll be a good time to either push forward or let it drop completely into just being good friends, with no real look towards anything more.  In the meantime, I’ll just keep on being myself, and try not to let any feelings cloud my judgement and vice versa.

And speaking of Limbo, I put together a little filk song about the Isle of Wyrms today, and that makes a good thing to round out this little post.  There’s no tune made for it yet, though if it gets put to music there’ll probably be some mention made here!

Limbo’s the land
Where dragons were born
And grew and built and played;
There’s always a gathering of friends to be found
If the lag would just stay away!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-when Limbo isn’t in limbo!

Cathedral’s the place
Where dragons have settled
And shared their land with others
There’s plenty of forms and shapes to be found
Just watch out for Mr Spiky!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-as long as you don’t get eaten!

Suilven is the land
Of the Winter Wyrm
Full of mountains and snows
Dragons dance to the drums in her towering lair
But be careful to see where they step!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-as long as you watch out for tinies!

Isle of Gazoo
Is a land old and new
Rescued from destruction by tinies
A welcoming home, to many a folk
As long as you share your cookies!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-where baked goods are never safe!

Hatchie Haven is where
Many hatchies call home
In huts or caves or towers
There’s mountains, and lakes, and a marketplace too
If you can fit in the door!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-sizechanging has never been so handy!

The Isle is more
Than dragons and wyverns
There’s fae, and hedgies and tinies
All are welcome, no matter the size
Just don’t fill up the entire sim!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
Big or small, we welcome you all!