Tag Archive for dragon

Remembrance of Days Gone By

So I was just reflecting on as of this year, I’ve basically been sporting scales for 10 years.  That’s almost a full third of my life right now, and probably half the time I’ve been around furry content overall – though 9-9.5 of the remaining time was spent as a fox.

That set me thinking of commissioning a new art piece(not the one posted above) to commemorate 10 years of scales – maybe something transformation-related, going from one form to the other.  Still, it might get complicated if I included my snep chakat ‘sona I ran with for several months also, and if I should include my Arctic Wyvern that brought everything to critical mass.

You see, back in 2007 I started poking my snout around an area in Second Life called the Isle of Wyrms – I may have mentioned it here before. I found out about it from some other furs at an area based around the DMFA webcomic(shameless plug – www.missmab.com – been reading it for years!) as they had a couple adult dragon avatars from there and were showing them off at Lost Lake.

Now back then, you could buy the hatchlings and the wyrmlings(think feral dragon equivalent of teenagers) at any time, but the full-size adults were only available four times a year – on the solstices and equinoxes, and even then in limited numbers.  Once you owned one, you could buy the rest at any time for customization, but you had to get that first spot at one of the hatching events.  The idea was to try and make it something more special than just buying an av because it looked cool.  These were DRAGONS, and deserved something more special.

Because I was curious, I ended picking up a Astral Wyrmling, as it felt the most dragonlike to me, and toyed around with it a bit.  I’m fairly sure I talked about this a long while ago on here, so I won’t go into too much detail, but suffice it to say I went to check my logs to see when I had first gotten the Arctic Wyvern and found it was actually exactly 10 years ago yesterday.

As I probably said then, and in a tweet-chain that triggered this blog post, the Wyrmling may have opened the door a crack, but it was the Wyvern egg that slammed it all the way open and broke off the hinges.

There was a certain magic in the air that day – we were the testbed for the random selection that was used up until the final hatchings, replacing the old “who can click fastest before the sim crashes” method.  I like to think of it as letting fate and luck take the wheel more directly, as the former relied on reaction speed as well as luck on if the server would acknowledge it before the sim crashed.

We were spread across two sims due to population limits as the drawing began. There was tension at first as individuals were called out – at least until someone noticed that if you checked your registration token, it could tell you if you were one of the winners or not already.  The current version of the Cathedral was not complete yet, but this was the first chance many of us got to see it, as the eggs were located there to keep things under control.

Once we had our eggs, it was off to the sandbox to hatch them, wear the avatars, and tweak them to our specifications.  This is where the magic I spoke of was most felt – the becoming of wing and scale, tooth and claw.  Leaning to move in something much larger, how it worked, and sharing the joy and celebration of our new forms with all the other newly grown Wyverns.  This was also the premiere release of the Wyverns, which added another element of specialness to the whole event.

It’s kind of sad that the days of the hatchings are behind us now.  As time wore on, the crowds began to shrink, and eggs began to go unclaimed, until the decision was made to set the tradition aside as the amount of unclaimed eggs up for adoption had effectively removed the distinction. Folks who arrive at the Isles now seeking a draconic perspective will never truly get to experience the tension of waiting to see if you were chosen, the wonder of walking down the rows of IoW elders standing ceremonial guard to claim their new egg, and the joy and celebration of becoming alongside their wingbrothers and wingsisters as they explore their new selves.

There was several factors though that led to this, and I don’t know that any one of them changing would have made a difference.

  • Daryth, as far as I am aware, has effectively moved on – no new dragon or other avatar designs or updates have been released in years.  For her, this was her art, more than anything else, and as every artist knows, the muse can be a fickle thing.
  • Other creators have harnessed deformations and mesh to create technically superior(whether they are aesthetically is up to the viewer) avatars that were available 24/7, and a majority of Second Life I’d say would prefer that instant purchase and gratification rather than waiting months for a chance at one that isn’t even a certain win.
  • While people come and go, once you had the adult you didn’t need to enter again.  This meant that every hatching shrunk the pool of prospective dragons, and eventually that pool would be small enough to cause this sort of effect as well.

So while it was probably inevitable, I am still glad I got to experience a IoW hatching before it ended, and thankful for it as it helped me find myself, so to speak. The Isle itself and the community is still around after 11 years, which is practically an eternity in SL time. While the sun is no longer blotted out with dragon wings, there are many hatchies and other folk waiting to welcome a stranger into their fold, or welcome back old friends who may wing back from time to time.

With how many places I have visited in SL that have come and gone, there is still a certain peace in knowing there is still a home to return to.

I have seen things you people wouldn’t believe.

Sims crashing like dominos from a runaway grey goo attack. I’ve seen entire furry continents rise, only to fade away.  Dragons, spreading their wings for the first time under the shadow of Cathedral. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain.

Time to fly.

Late-night rambling returns!

I’ve actually had a couple posts I’ve wanted to do in the pipeline, but various things have conspired to prevent me from following through on them.  Various things in large part being WoW. <..<

Anyways, there’ll still be a year -in-review post at some point, and I also have a Transformer-like race to use in Pathfinder to post, but this isn’t either of those.  This is a catch-up, and maybe some rambling on random topics, for the first time in a while!

If you don’t care about WoW, feel free to skip a few paragraphs. XP

First, the WoW situation has kind of sorted itself out.  The two guilds de-merged, and Chocolate Disco went back to a lot more casual schedule.  I’ve ended up on the regular Mythic team, but not quite made Core, which I’m fine with.  I know there’s better players than me – only reason to wish I was Core is so I would have a higher cap on guild repairs for progression nights!

Especially after I went and made myself broke.  I’ve basically completed the follower minigame on my main until 6.1, and there’s nto much to do towards raiding outside raids at the moment.  So, I finally went back to see what I missed in minipets, since I had that mostly done before my break, and was surprised that they hadn’t added that much.  I saw some TCG pets I was missing up for relatively cheap, and there was now ay I was going to go through Molten Core any more times to try for that pet, so I went and bought myself into brokeness.  Worse, I haven’t been able to engage the revenue stream I had been using as I needed to make some upgrades for myself for crafted pieces for my monk alt and for a piece where RNG turned out to hate me on my main.  End result though is that I just need to get about 8 more pets and I’ll have every pet I can get that’s not a CE pet, Blizzcon pet, or a pet only available in another country.  At least until 6.1!

As for why I -need- to gear my alt, originally I was planning on raiding with both guilds, with all the time sinks that entails.  There’s folks I like in both guilds and I wanted to keep running with both(not to mention it’s a bit of a rush to realize that I’m in the raid team of the top guild on the server!) so I was going to use my alt to run Disco raids.  Then it turned out they kind of raid on the same days.

I say kind-of because the second Disco night is the same night as what is supposed to be an alt run, but I’ve had a couple gear holes that have forced me to run my main in said alt runs for more gear.  That’s solved now though until Blackrock releases, so I’ll be able to roll with them for at least a couple weeks finally.

Aside from WoW, I’m moving into a different position that’s more internal facing and engineering oriented at work.  I’m still having to deal with some stuff here and there that isn’t, but that’s the life of a sysadmin, and my boss has a very healthy philosophy on outside-normal-hours work: keep it to a minimum.  It’s a philosophy I’m in heavy agreement with, as after some of my contracting I make it a point to grab on tight to my free time, including lunch breaks and only work on either if there is no other way.  I have pushed back on scheduling before because of workload, but that’s less of an issue in my new position.

My muse has finally spoken up again though, and revived one of my former identities as a separate character: Chakat Swiftwind lives again(sorta).  Where my dragon is me though, Swiftie is a separate character, more along the lines of my various RPG characters.  There may not be much distinction between the two for a lot of furries, but there is for me and that’s the important part.  Part of that is I finally have an idea of who shi is: a hotshot pilot, whether it be starship or starfighter… though given the chakat universe doesn’t have a lot of interstellar conflict, shi’s pretty much a starship jock at the moment in my mind.

I tried using Traveller to put together a background history for hir, but it left a bit to be desired, as there are some differences naturally between the two universes.  I also was a bit confused about the difference between StarFleet and Star Corps in that universe, so I had to do a quick rewrite to fit with my mental idea of where shi is in the “present” which unfortunately has left some parts of hir past vague now for the moment.

As to what prompted me, I had a strong mental image of hir in a cockpit, hands on controls and handpaws on even more controls.  Granted, as a ship’s helmsman on a long-range exploration ship shi may not get to do that, but there’s pinnances and such shi may have to fly for some reason; not to mention shi may be able to make that ship do tricks its builders hadn’t even thought of.

Part of that also gave me the idea and framework for a story, and it even fits well to the typical framework of a Star Trek episode!  After I fleshed out some identities of other folks shi’d be interacting with regularly though, I found myself without the time to actually start writing it.  There’s also a couple things i’m not sure about now because I want to stick to that “Star Trek episode” feeling, but I want it to be hir story, not a story about the bridge crew of the ship shi’s on.

Another thing is that my original idea necessitates some ship-to-ship combat, which is where I run into another issue.  In Star Trek’s universe, there’s other star empires to be handy antagonists.  The chakat universe’s Steller Federation on the other hand has no real enemies, just some pirates pretty much and everyone else in their stellar neighborhood is buddy-buddy with them.  On top of that, StarFleet ships in the chakatverse have people trained for First Contact and this is a Big Thing, as opposed to Star Trek where they meet half the new civilizations over laser fire, and the other half they try not to even make contact with because of the Prime Directive.

The fact that First Contact is huge, and that I’m technically playing in someone else’s playground, makes me leery of introducing a new alien race of any sort to be antagonists. Pretty much the only way to make it work would be for the alien race to be truly alien(which is hard) as most of the Federation races have been of similar mindsets, make the new race be scream-and-leap like the Kzinti, or have what attacks them be automated.  None of those are truly ideal, and with how big First Contact is, a botched one, even if nothing could be done, would be a huge black mark I would imagine.  So I’m stuck on that plot point and it’s a major one for the original story idea I had.

Back on the topic of mental images though, there were a couple others that came to mind that I wanted to see made real, so I’ve started getting art again.  I had a ton of Transformers come in recently, but thankfully it was end of December so technically it was part of last year’s budget.  I’ve already blown past my tentative marker for January’s non-essentials budget though with the two pieces I have coming, even with that.

I’d actually wanted to get art of Swiftwind last year, but I never really got around to finding taur artists besides Kacey and trying to get it done.  This time, I actually found a few artists, but was surprised how few good taur artists I was able to find, though I did stumble on another recently thanks to Twitter(and which prompted the second art piece I have inbound eventually).  Right now I just have nothing I really want drawn of -me- except maybe a new icon.  Problem there is I don’t have a theme in mind or a specific artist to do a dragicon, so that’s on hold at the moment.

I actually have a third piece in mind too, and the artist I’d like to do it is opening for commissions soon, so I’m waiting to see if I can snag a slot there.  As long as I’m getting pics done of my (other) characters, I figured I’d get a pic of a major Pathfinder character I’ve been trying to be able to play – my Dark Tapestry Oracle, who happens to be a black-furred kitsune with a gypsy theme.

I’ve actually gotten the chance to game again, which allowed me to bring her up again and play her, though this is one of those campaigns where the DM looked at the (non-MMO)Elder Scrolls games’ laughable attempts at balance and thought it was way too restrictive in power level.  On one hand, it’s letting me pull out the stops, but on the other it’s feeling more like a power fantasy than RP and I feel like I’m not actually really playing so much as waiting to see what the next huge power boost is.  On the other hand, they were already high level when I joined, but that doesn’t help when advancement is still this rapid.  I can always use her again in a different campaign I suppose that’s a bit more sane.

The other campaign this group is running though definitely isn’t it.  While they’re playing through an adventure path, the characters are more like a Marvel What If? comic instead.  Since restraint on concept was already thrown to the wind, I sat down with the Advanced Race Guide and figured out how to build a Transformer, and got the GM to approve it!  I’ll be posting it at some point, but I still need to make the actual character.  I’m thinking bomb alchemist may be fitting.

I sort of wish there was a Traveller campaign going, so I could see if I could slip in my conversion of the chakat race too and make Swiftie in that.  Of course, then I’d probably have to answer some questions about where hir race comes from.  I usually don’t flaunt furry stuff outside of the areas of the internets where its common or such, but the group I’m playing with again in RL would probably have no problem with it, considering what some of them are into.  Wouldn’t help though with other groups…

When I thought about getting the art of Swiftwind though, I realized I didn’t have any real good referances.  The only color drawn pic didn’t give hir a large enough bust(and yeah, my motives for hir having a large rack probably are less than pure if I actually sat and thought about it) and the rest were just sketches. I did have the Second Life pics form the last revamp I did to my SL av of hir, but hir upper body was out of proportion in that.  So, now that mesh bodies are a thing, I went looking to see if I could find a larger base body to use for the upper torso.

I didn’t find any that were just larger, but I found some that looked more natural and/or more shapely, and when I tried a demo I found to my delight that it worked just fine with my taur anims.  The first one though was no-mod and you ahd to apply to be able to make skin appliers for it so I had to look elsewhere.  I foudn another one that was almost as good, AND a lot cheaper, and was mod-friendly!  As a bonus, it also gave hir breasts a more natural shape and increased the amount hey could scale.  Of course, the slider setting I had needed to use before with the default SL body resulted in nuclear torpedo warheads with this body, so I was actually able to scale it down to get hir chest to be the right size I envisioned.

Since I was stuck in terms of upper-to-lower-body ratio though, I decided to try scaling the lower body down a bit.  I’d originally had the height set to max for scale purposes in SL, but proportions were more important now and scale is jacked in SL anyways.  It actually wasn’t too difficult to finally get hir body properly proportioned in general once I tried.  Then it was snapshot time!

While I was starting to put it together, I had the bright idea to go with a LCARS theme, and I ended up blowing an entire Saturday with putting together the template, coloring it, and retaking shots I found out were at bad angles, but it gave me a good ref sheet finally for hir, and it’s already getting used for the two new pieces I have coming.

Iv’e been tempted a time or two to take hir out for a whirl on SL, but I don’t know what I’d do with hir.  WoW and work keep me busy enough that I wouldn’t want to commit to a regular RP, and for my regular hanging out I’d rather be my dragon self.  I could go hunt up furry sex clubs, but that lost its appeal a long while ago.  If I just want word porn I can write it myself(and probably do a better job!) and for anything beyond that, well, that’s one thing relationships can bring to the table – and there it’s sex because of the love, not love for the sex.

Also looking back other than the sidegrade into a RP character, Swiftwind really doesn’t fit as an identity so much as a fantasy.  Whether or not I used to be more cuddly, I’ve found that I don’t really care as much for random hugs and snugglings and such anymore from strangers, and that sort of closeness is a natural thing for chakats.  Since they’re natural empaths they’re very informal and very sensual, for reasons which make a lot of sense when you look at it.

That also leads into the whole chakat style of mating and courtships.  While I like the idea of the different levels(Companion/Denmate/Lifemate) and think that could work well, chakats tend to have multiple mates and love everyone, and I’m serially monogamous.  Once I give my heart and loyalty, that’s it.  Maybe I’m jsut old-fashioned.  I could maybe see a threesome working if the other two were both female and some circumstances worked out, but in general I have one mate and that’s that.

Being a hermaphrodite also is integral to the even general idea of chakats, but not something I could see myself as anymore.  The idea may be fun to play with, in that you could RP either a male or female role with the same character, depending on mood and partner, but I am definitely not bi, which is almost a requirement for that to be part of your identity.  If nothing else, my (lack of) reaction to all the penis pics that showed up on my Twitter AD account’s timeline proved that to myself – and that’s ignoring the time I did try to use a chakat as my identity.

I supose, going back to what I said earlier about my reasons for hir chest size, that it’s in part a fusion of myself with one of the representations of my potential ideal mate.  Self and fantasy in one, so that either you can be the one doing, or you can mentally put yourself in the other person’s shoes while playing the female role when it comes to the more adult activities; and all without changing characters.

While I’m mentioning AD and dick pics, that’s something I’ve noticed a lot of.  People taking pictures of just their bits, which frankly gets pretty boring.  You’ve seen one, you’ve seen most of them, girls included.  Most of the actually hot pictures include more of the body, body language, expression and so on.

Then again, maybe it’s just because I’m older and have my sexual urges more under control, since most of said folks are several years younger.  I’ll admit I can think with the wrong head at times, but it seems like (effectively) going into rut isn’t that often an occurrance for me.  Heck, just look at when I’ve posted adult stories fairly close together, and you can get an idea.

I’m actually feeling tired now, and this is one of the longest entries I’ve written in a while so I guess I’ll leave you with the art piece I got most recently, from right around the new year.  Enjoy!

Lookin' Cute, Feelin' Cute

Art update!

First, let me say that damn, there’s a lot of dragons on Twitter. o..o  Got no idea who to follow or whatnot, or if I should just follow at random and then unfollow later if I change my mind. I kinda want to avoid information overload though.

Anyways!  Apparently the long wait for the second piece was because my e-mail wasn’t getting through.  Given it was a a huge long e-mail thread I’m thinking all the replies triggered a spam trap on her end.  Once we figured that out however, it was short order before I finally had both versions of a brand new refsheet!

All ages foxy dragon arts!

All ages foxy dragon arts!

I’m not going to post the adult version here, but it can be found at my galleries or at my AD Twitter @DekafoxAD.

I’d also gotten a sketch a little while back for the upcoming Halloween, and didn’t feel it was worth posting by itself.  Feral draggies are a lot more limited in costume options, so after some thinking I came up with the best idea ever:  a Star Trek style starship!

Halloween Dragon

I’ve got another adult commission in the works now, but next thing I want to get I think is a new icon… though I am sorely tempted to get a set of paired icons for me and Kait.  She may not use FA or any of those furry or social networking things, but they work great for profile pics in SL!  Still, it loses a bit of the effect if you can’t post them together.

Don’t really have anything else to add, other than I didn’t expect to be posting this much this month, but the way events conspired led to a bunch of September posts!  We’ll see if that trend continues next month.

An Adult Touch

Well, the piece of adult art I was waiting for has been finished, and no I won’t be posting it here.  It has been posted in my art galleries though, if anyone is interested in it.

It brings to mind some interesting discussion, however; one that I’m still having with myself, to some extent.  Why adult art?  Should  I share it or not?  Is it liberating, demeaning, or something else?  Does it trivialize how I feel about myself if I’m having art created flashing the goods to all and sundry? How does it compare to clean art?

To answer the first question, my dragon self is myself.  For me, it encompasses every aspect of my being, which, yes, does include the sexual parts as well.  If I were to somehow become my dragon self, I wouldn’t suddenly be sexless, and so it makes a sort of sense to explore that as well.

I feel I should probably clarify here as well.  Yes, I am straight, and attracted to human women.  Yes, I know dragons don’t exist physically currently.  If they suddenly did, no I wouldn’t want to go make out with one, especially if they weren’t sentient.  Now, if I had become a dragon too, through whatever had brought them into being?  In that case, all bets are off.

I’d guess I really started thinking about it back when I had a dragonkin girlfriend for a short while.  Suffice it to say that before we broke up we explored our draconity with each other and leave it at that.  Either way, certain, ah, body parts were involved, which meant I had to explore that side and figure out what I had down there.  And then of course, when I finally got a reference sheet drawn, it seemed a natural step to get an adult version as well as a clean version, just in case I ever needed it.  After all, in the end it’s just another part of my body like any other.

Of course after I got the reference sheets, it was years before I actually got any further art, in large part due to monetary constraints.  When I started getting pictures again, I found myself debating this topic once more.  In large part, I was considering getting an adult piece from Asyd, but I wanted to see how I’d look in her style first, hence the picture I did actually get.  I do have to admit I was also a bit uncertain about getting one done in general, but I did like the way her style works with those.

When I saw how busy she actually was though, I gave up on the idea for a bit – at least until my muse slapped me upside the head with an image I wanted to see done.  With her off the table, I had to go artist shopping again to find one who had a style I liked and was available.  The first artist I found actually was otherwise occupied, but shortly after Syrinoth opened up and I jumped on it in time to snag the slot.

It was a bit longer wait than I expected, but the end picture was worth it, and then I was faced with whether to share it or not.  Just like in the picture, where I had mixed feelings on showing “myself” off(and he did a great job on the expression to show this!), I had the exact same feelings on putting the picture itself out there.  Especially as there are a few folk who know me elsewhere who watch my FA, and I wasn’t sure what they’d think of it.

In the end, I decided to run with it(as I’m expecting it to show up in the artist’s gallery as well at some point), but with a disclaimer not to expect a lot of adult art, as I have mixed feelings on it in general.  I do know I will be getting at least one more piece though, as my muse spoke up again with another picture idea that I need to make a reality, though it will probably be a while as the artist I’m looking to have draw it is busy with school currently.

Part of what inclines me towards it is I think I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, and this is a “safe” way to indulge that. Kinda ironic, given how shy I can be at times.. or maybe it’s because of that?  That same shyness though is what disinclines me to sharing it publically in any fashion.  If I followed that train of thought however, what would I do with it?  My potential future girlfriend isn’t ‘kin or a furry, as far as I know, and it’s not like I’d want to put it up on my walls anywhere.  Art that isn’t being viewed is art that is wasted, and  I wouldn’t want good art to be lost to the void, whatever the content.  Thus, the posting of this, and the one I have in the queue.

Another thing to note though is I am far from alone in this.  There are many, many dragons out there who have gotten adult art of themselves, or of themselves and a friend/mate mounting or being mounted.  They’re proud of their draconic forms(as I am) and aren’t afraid to show it off.  In some cases, it also acts as a proxy too; a way to express themselves and perform in ways they are unable to in the real world for various reasons.  In other cases, it’s merely a release or an ego boost for them, for similar reasons to those of some people that have mass amounts of one-night-stands. (Honestly, this is the artistic equivalent.)  And in yet others, it’s just a way to show to the world how they feel about each other(as in the case of a pair of dragon artists I’ve mentioned in previous entries).

In my case, I’ve gotten art from most of the artists I wanted art from, so now it’s just waiting for when my muse prods my brain with an image to make real, whether adult or otherwise.  However, since it is me in those pictures, there’s not going to be any art of myself making out with anyone else, unless it’s someone I care deeply about and they actually want such art done.  Whatever my faults and sexual inclinations, one thing I am is loyal to whomever holds my heart.  Even if they didn’t care, to me it’d feel like a betrayal if I were to get art of myself “laying” with anyone else’s characters.

On top of that, I’ve never felt any inclination to make up a character for myself to “play” with, as it’d feel just as fake as the various “waifus” some crowds will fawn over.  The closest I’ve ever come to that is a couple stories I wrote where I had characters being dangerously close to self-inserts(I’m sure given that information any readers could probably pick out which ones too.), but in the end those were still just characters, not a true avatar of myself.

I’m sure there will be some folks though who will still think I’m debasing myself, and to them I say pfff. Humans(and that includes draconic humans!) are by nature sexual creatures and being ashamed of that is like being ashamed of liking meat- if that’s your thing, go for it! Does it matter what you like or do, if it hurts no one else?  Of course, I’m sure there’s someone out there now who found my picture and is busy fantasizing about it, but that’s their problem and as long as they don’t get all up in my face, it’s all on them.  I’m not on the hunt for a mate anymore, as I have someone I care about now, so it’s not like I’m flashing myself to get companions or lovers.  I’m just… er… letting it all hang out?

Finally, there is something nice about getting art of oneself in general, no matter the content.  It’s like taking another piece of that innermost self and bringing it into the real world, as much as one can at least.  I guess one way to put it is that it’s like a selfie of the soul.  It encapsulates a moment, a emotion, a feeling, and reveals it to the world.  It sucks you in, and lets you live for a brief instant as what you truly are.  The clean art lets me express the more public aspects of my dragon self, while the adult ones reveal the more personal, more instinctual desires and needs that are still just as much a part of me as any other.

I am not speaking for all ‘kin, or even a large portion, but for me, that’s what the art means to me.  That’s what pushed me to follow through on my muse’s urgings and my personal inclinations..  It’s just another expression of my multifaceted self, and the dragon at the core of my very being.

And no, I’m still not going to post the aforementioned adult art here.  If you really want to find it, you should be able to on your own, and I’d prefer to leave my blog work-safe, even if it gets a bit risque at times(like now).

Now to wait for more commissions to open…

In this Serenity… and Pride

1395159812.adalfyre_dekafoxSo since I don’t know how long it’ll be until I have another picture to post, I figured I might as well post this one now… but I also had another reason to bring it up.

Adalfyre had some bills come up earlier than expected, and had to open emergency commissions, so I hopped on that to help and snag another picture in the process.  At the time, I didn’t have anything in specific in mind apart from the general pose, and she produced the above very nice pic.

Since then however, the more I’ve looked at it, the more I’ve got feelings of serenity and passing on from it.  The best way I can describe the imagery it’s evoking now is it’s like a spirit form of myself is  pausing in the fields of green to take one last look back at life/mortality, before moving onto whatever awaits me next.  There’s no one thing I can point to, but it’s some combination of all the individual elements that combine to give this impression of an aged (fox)dragon passing into the Light.

It’s all completely unintentional, but it works so perfectly that it may as well have been planned that way.

When my life does eventually end, this is how I hope it goes.  A peaceful passing, pausing one last time to look back at all I have done and seen; one last view of the mortal world as my spirit and soul takes its true shape and reunites in Heaven with my friends and loved ones that had gone before me.

Yes, I said Heaven.  What’s wrong with believing in the trinity and believing in my own draconity at the same time?  There’s nothing that contradicts the two, as far as I’m concerned.  If God wished to put the soul of a dragon in the body of a human, I’m sure He has his reasons, even if we are unable to comprehend them ourselves at this time.

Before anyone start throwing Bible quotes around, let me remind them that the current English versions of the Bible are a translation of a translation, with potentially even more changes on top of that.  Take an English text, translate it through German and Japanese and then back to English, and see how accurate it is.  In fact, there’s even one obvious example:  “Thou shalt not kill.”  The word that “kill” was translated from apparently, if properly translated according to our current understanding, is actually “murder.”

There’s also all the people who mouth Jesus’s commandment to “love one another as yourselves” and all the times he preached similar messages, then turn around and use his name to preach hate against others.

Should I add that a lot of the current imagery of Heaven actually comes from Dante’s Inferno and similar works, and never actually from any version of the Bible?

But that’s all a topic for another time.  The other thing I was wanting to cover is something completely different, and it’s not a man with three buttocks.

Last night, my raid group and I finally got our next Heroic boss down in SOO in WoW!  We’d finally gotten to work on it in earnest this week and last, and we ended up switching to a single-heals strategy which was what netted us the kill.  Tuesday, we were getting him to 10% before the wipe.  Last night, we got him to 1% and 3%, then finally got the kill.

I have to tell you, after working on that boss a while, there was definitely an adrenaline rush when we got him close, hoping and praying internally for the kill.  That’s part of what raiding is all about –  those edge kills in progression, busting your butt to clean up the strategy and play and push those last few centimeters for that first kill.

When we were getting close, I starting to feel a bit worn, so I decided to throw on a little music to help, and funnily enough, the two songs worked out almost perfectly in theme and fight length.  Just Live More, the op to Kamen Rider Gaim, and Eternal Saint from Saint Seiya Omega.

If I start the first song during the pull countdown, the main music kicks in a few seconds into the pull.  The time when stuff just starts getting busy coincides with the lyric “It’s survival, you got to move” which describes that fight to a T.  Then that wraps up and segues into Eternal Saint when things are starting to get heavy.  That one is all instrumental, so there’s no lyrics to potentially distract you, while it swells up all orchestral and inspirational, and it was fairly close to wrapping up at the moment of the kill.  It just felt like a perfect match.

As for the loot?  Nothing dropped for priests and my coin roll was gold.  But like another raid member said, “I ain’t even mad.”  If we did it once, we’ll do it again, and there’s plenty more bosses waiting to have their faces melted.

 

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

IT Foxdragon

 

Combination update and overdue art post.  I actually got the above picture about a month ago, but I held off because I had thought another commission might finish soon as well.  In the end, it didn’t, but I got another recently, so I figured now was a good time.  I also have two more being worked on, so there may be another art post in the near future, depending on when they get finished.

The above was from a Dragonlovers stream sketch.  As for the other, I snagged a picture from Aaros now that he’s got his tablet mojo working.

1394664705.aaros_dekafox

*poses* Just look at these wings!  Rawr!

Other than that, I have a couple more in the works as I said, and at least 2 more definite ones I want done, as I actually have an image in mind for them, not to mention specific artists in mind. So, it’s back to playing a waiting game for slots to re-open.

In other worlds, I’ve officially got the promotion now to go with the work I’ve been doing.  There’s other changes too that may be going through, though I can’t go into details as they’re not set-in-stone yet.

Relationship-wise, still in Limbo – in other words, technically there isn’t one yet.  So far, I’m still just coasting along and seeing where it leads.  From what I’ve heard if there’s nothing deeper to it it’ll die out in another month or two, so that’ll be a good time to either push forward or let it drop completely into just being good friends, with no real look towards anything more.  In the meantime, I’ll just keep on being myself, and try not to let any feelings cloud my judgement and vice versa.

And speaking of Limbo, I put together a little filk song about the Isle of Wyrms today, and that makes a good thing to round out this little post.  There’s no tune made for it yet, though if it gets put to music there’ll probably be some mention made here!

Limbo’s the land
Where dragons were born
And grew and built and played;
There’s always a gathering of friends to be found
If the lag would just stay away!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-when Limbo isn’t in limbo!

Cathedral’s the place
Where dragons have settled
And shared their land with others
There’s plenty of forms and shapes to be found
Just watch out for Mr Spiky!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-as long as you don’t get eaten!

Suilven is the land
Of the Winter Wyrm
Full of mountains and snows
Dragons dance to the drums in her towering lair
But be careful to see where they step!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-as long as you watch out for tinies!

Isle of Gazoo
Is a land old and new
Rescued from destruction by tinies
A welcoming home, to many a folk
As long as you share your cookies!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-where baked goods are never safe!

Hatchie Haven is where
Many hatchies call home
In huts or caves or towers
There’s mountains, and lakes, and a marketplace too
If you can fit in the door!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
-sizechanging has never been so handy!

The Isle is more
Than dragons and wyverns
There’s fae, and hedgies and tinies
All are welcome, no matter the size
Just don’t fill up the entire sim!

Where the gryphons cry
And the dragons fly
And the hatchlings search for cookies;
There’s always something at the Isle of Wyrms-
Big or small, we welcome you all!

 

So you want to be a dragon…

In my last post, I sort of touched on this idea – physically becoming what you see yourself as inside.  There’s many ‘kin that would jump on any such opportunity in a heartbeat, but to me it’s very much a “Be careful what you wish for” kind of deal.  A lot of stories written about the concept tend to set aside the consequences in favor of wish fulfillment, but there are way too many consequences to such a change to lightly write them all off.

Okay, so setting aside whether dragons could physically exist or not(square-cube law, flight, hexapod anatomy, etc), if they could, what would be the downsides of such an offer; to fly on the wings of your dreams?

First, there’s relearning how your body works, and the instincts built into it.  For the sake of this post we’ll also assume your mind has come along fully intact.  Humans spend the first several years of life learning how to move and control their bodies.  With most western dragons, you’re adding a tail and wings onto that, as well as a quadrapedic posture.  Admittedly, Easterns have it easier in that regard in that they don’t have the wings to deal with, but in exchange their bodies are much longer typically.  Even if you disregard all that and go anthro/furry, you still have the tail at minimum to learn to control, plus potentially wings.

In fact, let me expand on the idea of “I’ll go anthro and it’ll all work”.  How many shirts designed for wings have you seen?  How would you put any of them on, with the extra set of wings?  Even more important, what about tails and pants?  You would have to modify every pair with a extra button flap and hole.  And it’s not just clothing; think of all the times you’ve barely made a closing door or closed a door right behind you.  How many times do you think you’d forget you now have a tail and close it in the door?  This isn’t cloth or some unfeeling attachment, this is like having an arm or leg get trapped in a door!

Going back to the idea of having four-on-the-floor, environmental concerns would also be an issue.  Barring going “wild” and living off the land(which some people would like – fair enough) how would you get around?  Where would you live?  Many a dragon(including myself) envisions themselves as being larger than human-size.  You’d have to have custom-built dwellings right off the bat.  If you travelled, it would have to be by wing or foot, though admittedly the former would be preferred by many to driving anyways.  There’s also the matter of feeding yourself – those without handpaws(forepaws that double as hands) would have issues with manipulating any appliances, let alone the oversized ones an oversized dragon would need.

Then there’s the social issues.  Would you be alone, i.e. the only person to become dragon? You can bet any and all governments would be interested and you’d be swiftly disappeared, only to ever appear in tabloids.  If not, then what about your friends and loved ones?  How would your family or your wife/partner react if suddenly you were three times their size, in -all- aspects, let alone the other physical changes, and they remained the same?  (If you stayed human-sized, those still apply).

Even if you were not the only dragon(say 30% of the population changed) what if they were all different kinds of dragons?  Especially if those dragons couldn’t interbreed?  You’d basically be a species of 1, and once you were dead, your kind would be gone once more.  You wouldn’t be able to raise children other than adopting, and in this scenario, there’d be no dragon children for the most part, and raising a human child you run into all the difficulties mentioned above but multiplied.

To look at it another way, what if those same 30% changed, but not into different dragons, but the same type?  remember, there’s many many ‘kin out there, and in this sort of scenario, their chances are just as good as yours that theirs would be the type chosen.  So while you may not be a dragon, you still wouldn’t be your dragon.  It’d be a case of almost but not quite, which in some cases is even worse than not at all.

Leaving aside now the matter of friends and family, what about interaction with others and supporting yourself?  As a quote I once heard goes, a person is smart, but people are dumb panicky stupid animals.  If there wasn’t a war right off the bat between dragon and human, at minimum there would be discrimination the likes of which haven’t been seen in decades at least.  Assuming you get past all that, what sort of jobs could a dragon do, without massive retraining?  About the only ones feasible would be anything where you could work through a computer, as that could be scaled up easily enough and on the internet no one knows if you’re a dragon or not.

And then there would be the dragon groupies… I don’t think I need to explain further there.

So you’d essentially be:

  • Hated and/or feared by the general populace
  • Having to relearn your body like a toddler/amnesiac
  • Fighting any instincts native to the body – I admit I didn’t expand on this above, but this could vary greatly, and be very awkward e.g.puking up food for someone because you like them.  Yes, this is a real instinct among some birds.
  • Dealing with surroundings designed for other body designs and sizes
  • Potentially the only one of your kind, with no hope for offspring
  • Potentially leaving your friends and loved ones behind
  • Having to find new ways to support yourself

It wouldn’t be easy, and it wouldn’t be fair.  You’d be giving up a hell of a lot for what you get.  For some people, they would welcome this, even with all the caveats above. Me?  I’d have to give it a hard, long think, looking very closely at the details.

For one, if shapeshifting was involved/available, i.e. I could be dragon or human whenever I want, I’d be all for it.  It would avoid or mitigate some of the worst of the above, and give me the best of both worlds.

Now if it was a permanent change that was reversible, I would be on the fence about that. It would mean I could try it out, and if I find that it’s just not possible to make it work for me, I could go back to the same ol’ same ol’ as a final option.

A permanent change with no possibility of going back?  The drawbacks would have to be heavily accounted for, as I would not want to leave those I care about in the lurch, so to speak, for one thing.  For another, I wouldn’t want to hide all my life from government and “secret” agencies.  I also have way too active a mind for “going primitive” to work for me – I’d want my internets and entertainment.  At least, what with being in IT, as long as I have the right equipment working wouldn’t be an issue!

Now all this doesn’t mean you identify any less with being a dragon… it just means that it’s not going to be all sweetness and light to become one in reality, if the possibility becomes available. heck, given the whole transhumanism movement, someday humanity may be as varied as a Star Trek episode or a typical furry story. Until then however, if this were to become possible, think long and hard on what you may be giving up before you irrevocably lose it all.

Calling all dragons!

Not much going on life-wise lately, just keeping on keeping on.  This post isn’t about me though, it’s about someplace I’ve mentioned several times in the past – the Isle of Wyrms.

The last time I’d spoken about it I’d finally found out the reasons behind the changes.  It looks like Limbo is going to stay the way it is, as there’s quite a few folks’ homes on it, but there is a game and docks area that’s free for people to congregate at.  We’ve actually got a decent crowd again of good people, thanks to the tiny community, and the overlap with IoW’s dragons… but there haven’t been a lot of dragons running around.

And that is what we want to change.

This is a call-out to all dragons, whether ‘kin or not, who may be flitting around Second Life.  Let’s work together and wake the dream once more.  There’s good folks, lots of cookies, and plenty of conversation, and maybe a little parcheesi if that’s your thing!  There’s plenty of times right now where there’s not that many folks around still, but if no one goes, that’ll never change.

For those who aren’t interested in the games(or can’t really fit in the game area) there’s plenty of room in the Cathedral to hang out and chat.  The old cathedral that used to be in Limbo was smaller, and I still remember there always being a dragon or three there whenever I swung by back in those days.

Even if you don’t want to make it a regular hangout, there’s still plenty of events to come kick back with other dragons and the tinies.  For example, there’s biweekly Drum Circles, where folks can gather, listen to music, dance(as much as you can in SL) and chat, and they’re set in two different times to accommodate other time zones as well.  The next upcoming ones are Wednesday 3/5 at noon-2PM PST and Friday 3/7 at 5-7PM PST.

For those who are into games and/or SL fishing, there’s a weekly GamesDay event on Sundays starting at 1PM PST, where folks just gather to mess with the games, as well as usually 3 rounds of an unbaited fishing contest that you can win L from, if you make the top 5.

The biggest event coming up is of course the Spring Equinox celebration.  There may no longer be a hatching lottery, but there’s still be a celebration, and that starts 3/22 at noon PST.  I’m not staff there, just a dragon who’s been around a long time, so I don’t know what they’ve got planned for this one, but what better way to celebrate the changing of the seasons than with other dragons?

So if you got time, feel free to fly/crawl/swim/walk/teleport/stargate on over, and let’s bring back the Wyrms to the Isle of Wyrms!  Whether scaled, furred, or feathered, there’s plenty of room for all.

Draconic Perceptions

Llewelyn by Asyd Rayn

More arts!  Asyd knocked this one out surprisingly fast.  *preens*  No CITMON slots yet though, and Aaros had his screen break on his new tablet, so no arts from him still too.  So far though, each of the artists I’ve gotten art from has had a different strong point.  Rhoa does awesome (and fitting)scenery, Leilryu/Isvoc is super-detailed, and Asyd is great at capturing emotion.  That’s not the only thing great about each of their arts, but when I compare them it’s why I like each one, and it makes a great determination if I want any future arts of who to have draw them, depending on what’s most important.

The other part of this post was some reflections that I originally had/wanted to write about a few days ago, but was too tired to.  That night I was feeling very… dragon-y is the only way I can put it.  But what does that mean?

Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder to describe now, long after it subsided.  The first component though is a feeling of restlessness, like I want to stalk around somewhere, and not just that but in a draconic shape as well.  It feels like a power inside the chest, that you want to lift your head and rawr to the skies above.  My hands felt like claws that I wanted to dig into something, and feel my claws digging into the ground beneath them.  There was even a bit of a ghost sensation, though very faint, of wings, and if I’d had a tail it would have been lashing.  Layered on top of all that though is the need to DO something, to BE dragon, when it strikes.

I’ve dealt with it in the past by writing a few times, but mostly I’ve used Second Life as a catharsis for these sorts of feelings when they get strong enough to notice, and go poke around there in a virtual representation of my dragon self.  Since I started logging in again though, as I’ve lamented in the past, most of my old hangouts are gone or don’t usually have very many around, and I haven’t really found any new ones yet.  With that and how tired I was that day as I mentioned, I just slept it off.

It’s a great feeling, but it’s also aggravating when you can’t do anything about it!  Like when your back is itching in that one spot you can almost reach – annoying when you can’t, but when you can scratch that itch, it’s oh-so-wonderful.

Rawr!

Moods

I’m writing this as I random-dial stargates in Second Life for lack of anyplace to go. Every so often I seem to get into one of these moods – I want to do something, but don’t know what.  I want to hang with people but don’t know who or where.  It’s like this itch in the back of the mind that I just can’t quite scratch.

It usually seems to strike when I’m between “projects” as such, or the end of one is in sight and I don’t have another already in mind.  I detailed in a previous post how I got a bunch of crap done during my vacation at the end of the year.  I’ve done as much organization of my place as I can until it’s about time to move into whatever place I end up moving into.  I actually am synchronizing my SF, FA, and Weasyl galleries, but I’m doing it paced, and I’ve only got 3 story series left before that’s done.  I could go finish sorting my art, but I just think of how much there is and lose motivation.

Mention of a possible alt run in my WoW guild did get me moving a bit on my mage, but I finished all the available dungeons, and I’m still 88, and don’t feel fussed enough to quest right now on that toon and do the same tasks for the 10th time.  I’m caught up on all my shows.

I got nothin’.

I thought maybe I’d hop on SL a bit, maybe hang out, but IoW still doesn’t have much in the way of hangouts.  I got to hang with some tinies and hatchies playing a game of Aggrivation while I caught this week’s MLP ep, but they all moved on, and like I mentioned before, outside IoW I have no idea where to go, being a scaly dragon type.  I’m not looking for medieval RP or random sex, and all the old dragon hangouts are mostly gone.  Almost all my old furry hangouts are too.

And thus, dialing random stargates and seeing where I end up.  So far, I’ve encountered one good build:  A recreation of Twilight Town on par with that of Midgard in the sim of the same name.  Coincidentally, that’s the only place I’ve run into people actually talking anywhere nearby.

I hate feeling like this.

I could just go to bed, but that also feels like a waste.  There’s plenty of day(even if no daylight) left!  If I could just figure out what to do.  It’s like slogging through a quagmire looking for the way out of the forest when you don’t know which way is north.  So I figured maybe if I start writing something it’ll get it out of my system or at least point me in the right direction.

One thing I did read today that resonated with me was someone else complaining about loneliness, but with the caveat that he’s actually usually happy when alone, and he has plenty of friends and such, but it doesn’t help.  Someone else responded that loneliness can actually come from two different things: either you’re looking for more connections with other people(which people usually assume it is) or deeper connections.  It seems like most people just dismiss the second completely, leading to the “I’ve got all the friends in the world, so why am I lonely?” quandry.

On looking back, I feel I definitely fit in the latter category.  I’m a bit of an introvert, so lots of friends has never been my thing. Looking back at times I’ve felt lonely, it’s usually because I haven’t had those deeper friendships(or more) at that time, or at least said friends weren’t around.  If a dragon cries out but no one hears, does anyone care?

I’ve also never been big on big groups for the same reason.  Smaller groups are great; I can hang with them, listen to the conversation and join in when I have something to say, whether intelligent or just a bad pun. And we all know bad puns are the best kind!

It’s also kind of funny how many places in SL will fit a dragon, even if it might be a bit cramped.  It seems like it’s only rarely that I end up somewhere where I’d be hitting my head or pokeing up into the next floor above, even though most stuff is built for a human frame.

I also think I might be a bit prejudiced against humans and near-humans in SL. 😮  Part of that though is because a lot of people with normal human avs are walking around with a cork and two sequins, placement optional, in proportions that either are ultimate supermodel, or teetering on the edge of uncanny valley.  The other part I guess may be a bit of subconscious “if you can be anything you want, why limit yourself?”  That could easily go the other way as well though, and I bet that if I hung around in some of the places with humans and near-humans being the majority, that they might look askance at my draconity… once they get past how awesome an av it is, that is!

Then there’s also the groups that assume its roleplay.  For some people the idea of being yourself meaning being something other than human is hard to get a grasp on, I guess the same way I see about people who just take their RL look and tweak it in SL.  But it is what it is, and I know that too, even if it bugs me on some level.  I know it’s not fair, but that doesn’t stop it anyways, though I’m pretty good at burying it.

In other news, I’m working on getting more artses.  Found out one of the artists on my list actually is open for work, and just waiting to hear back now.  With moving on hold and being caught up on Transformers until HTS gets the new stuff in, I got plenty of money for art again.

While I’m ranting, I’m going to admit I don’t get what’s so hot about YCH(Your Character Here) auctions.  95% of the time it’s a mostly finished picture of two folks porking and all that’s done is instead of the artist having to come up with a species/markings set, he just recolors it like whomever won it.  More power to the artist for making extra bank on something that simple, but I just don’t get it.

Now the other 5% I can understand, and see as fine:  that being there’s some huge crowd scene for a story illustration or something along those lines, and the author is offering cameos to people who might want in.  That, I get.  But random porn with no link to anything, and likely no choice in your “partner” (as the other slot is probably a YCH too)?

Adoptables also fall into that category as well.  I can understand commissioning a character for something, even if I see it as lacking in imagination.  Offering a new species for people to make characters of?  *eyes all the sergals and chakats* Done, and done. But creating a character and selling *rights* to that character?  Selling the artwork is fine, but I don’t think a lot of the people really get it.  First off, the legality of such a thing is shady, but putting that aside, what’s to stop someone else who likes the concept from creating one of their own?  Let me just put this bright pink fox-thing with blue wings over here next to all the other bright pink fox-like things with blue wings.

Maybe I’m just cynical from being a greymuzzle and having been around furry stuff for over 15 years, compared to all the fresh 18-24-somethings glomming onto it all starry-eyed and bushy-tailed.  Some furry types are common for a reason, so when someone likes it and wants to be all “Look at me I’m a special snowflake” they try and twist it, just like all the other snowflakes and end up with something that’s been done 10 times over. Taste the rainbow of fur colors!  Instant demon/dragon/other-badass, just add horns, or bat/dragon wings.

Yes, I realize the irony of a blue dragon with foxish(or Eastern dragon, depending on perspective) features complaining about this.  I didn’t choose it to be different, I went with it because it felt natural and like myself.  I’m also sure there are furs out there that ended up with a somewhat common form from the same reasoning.  You’ll have to forgive me though if I don’t believe that when you have a fox-cat-skunk-dragon that looks like a box of crayons threw up on it.  There’s a term for that sort of fursona, but I can’t recall it right now, or enough of it to google up the term.

Damn, I sound old and crotchety, don’t I?  Like I should be waving a shotgun and telling them damn kids to get off my lawn.  Meh, who needs a shotgun when you’re like 20 feet tall, armored with scales, and have teeth and claws? 😀  Forget the breath weapon though, that’s never really gelled well with me – to the point I joke about the “IoW Spirit” one I use in my av as my breath just being minty fresh.

I guess that’s enough ranting for now.  I’m feeling better, and it’s time to post the next batch of stories.  Oh, and Singles Awareness Day is coming up, so remember to hit the stores the day after for lots of cheap chocolate!