Tag Archive for life

Blue Foxdragon LFM for Heroic Social

So, I’ve never had a ton of friends, but it’s not ever really bothered me either.  I actually tend to be fairly introverted, so most of my friends have come from more extroverted friends and family introducing me to them.  When those aren’t involved, I tend to revert to being a dragon ninja, when it comes to social situations around people I don’t know very well.

I’ll slip in quietly, listening to nearby conversation, and if it happens to hit upon something I can discuss or like to(or an opportunity for a bad pun comes up <..<) then I strike!  If the conversation drifts away towards something where I can’t contribute, then I’ll do the same, vanishing like smoke.

Anyways, my last local friends outside of work have now moved away, as of last week, putting me back where I was a few years ago, with a couple differences that are making me feel the difference more strongly than back then.

You see, for a while I was gaming with a group of people at one of our local comic and game stores, but then our GM had some personal issues and the game sessions came to an end.  At the time I was also playing World of Warcraft, so I ended up just staying at home most of the time, playing and socializing via that.  While I didn’t get out of the house much outside work, it wasn’t a huge issue as I was still getting my “people fix.”

After a couple years of that, I was feeling the itch for a tabletop RPG, and heard from my dad(who had also been playing with this group) that a few of the folks were starting it up again, but this time playing at their homes.  At the time, I was on a shifting schedule for work so I couldn’t make it half the time, and didn’t pursue it, but eventually that changed, and I was able to start playing with them again.

Over time we started doing other things as a group too, and during that time I dropped WoW, picked up STO for a while, then kinda dropped that too to focus on my marathon run through ALL the Pokemon games(and my computer not wanting to run STO under WINE). End result was basically most of my social needs being met by hanging with the local group instead, and it got me out of the house too!  Somewhere in there I also spent a good amount of time on Second Life for a while, until some events and life being busy led me to neglect it for a large amount of time.

Now, I don’t have any local event stuff I really go to at the moment, and I don’t have any MMOs I’m currently playing(in part due to WINE’s issues with DirectX11 and most MMOs I’m interested in using that now), leaving me coming home to not much to do and no one to really see.

On top of that, I’m at the point where I feel ready for a relationship again.  Usually after one ends, I’ve tended to stay single for a while after before even starting to look, and it’s been a couple years now. Unfortunately, I barely have anywhere to even look currently, because of the above.

End result? One lost and somewhat lonely dragon.

It doesn’t help either that most “mainstream” activities for meeting people are not things I’m into.  I don’t drink, don’t smoke, and don’t really dance, which leaves people introducing me to people, and online gatherings pretty much.

Unfortunately, I don’t know where to go for those either.  I’ve logged into SL recently, but I don’t know where to go anymore. The Isle of Wyrms has been fairly quiet the few times I popped in, Aggro has been empty, and I’m a bit big for Luskwood. (Never saw many convos of interest there the dew times I went either.)  Most of the other places I knew are gone, and I have no idea where I can find other dragons, or furs in general that would be welcoming to dragons.

I’ve also wanted to look for Telegram groups, but I don’t know where to look to find them, as I have very few other people I actively talk to on it right now, and the one index site I found doesn’t give me a real good idea for what some of them are like.

I’ve thrown up a couple profiles on Pounced and elsewhere too, but not a single response from any of them, and Pounced has historically not done much for me in general.

As for work?  Well back when the chlorine gas attack happened at MFF a couple years ago, people here were making bad furry jokes, so I don’t know that I’d feel comfortable letting my furry side out among them.  Not that I haven’t left a couple hints, but only one person has even sort-of caught it, and he’s not around anymore.

(To be fair, being able to be open about being dragon in RL has been a luxury I’ve only had the past couple years, as it turned out most of that group I mentioned before had furry tendencies to begin with, to my pleasant surprise.)

Anyways, if anyone knows where all the dergs are hanging these days, hit me up on Twitter.  I don’t really look for comments on here anymore, after so long of getting nothing but spam attempts.

Also open to any tabletop RPG gaming – with the group basically broken up for now, it doesn’t look like I’ll get to play Jasmine in an actual tabletop game anytime soon, and I don’t want to let the awesome art of her go to waste.

Remembrance of Days Gone By

So I was just reflecting on as of this year, I’ve basically been sporting scales for 10 years.  That’s almost a full third of my life right now, and probably half the time I’ve been around furry content overall – though 9-9.5 of the remaining time was spent as a fox.

That set me thinking of commissioning a new art piece(not the one posted above) to commemorate 10 years of scales – maybe something transformation-related, going from one form to the other.  Still, it might get complicated if I included my snep chakat ‘sona I ran with for several months also, and if I should include my Arctic Wyvern that brought everything to critical mass.

You see, back in 2007 I started poking my snout around an area in Second Life called the Isle of Wyrms – I may have mentioned it here before. I found out about it from some other furs at an area based around the DMFA webcomic(shameless plug – www.missmab.com – been reading it for years!) as they had a couple adult dragon avatars from there and were showing them off at Lost Lake.

Now back then, you could buy the hatchlings and the wyrmlings(think feral dragon equivalent of teenagers) at any time, but the full-size adults were only available four times a year – on the solstices and equinoxes, and even then in limited numbers.  Once you owned one, you could buy the rest at any time for customization, but you had to get that first spot at one of the hatching events.  The idea was to try and make it something more special than just buying an av because it looked cool.  These were DRAGONS, and deserved something more special.

Because I was curious, I ended picking up a Astral Wyrmling, as it felt the most dragonlike to me, and toyed around with it a bit.  I’m fairly sure I talked about this a long while ago on here, so I won’t go into too much detail, but suffice it to say I went to check my logs to see when I had first gotten the Arctic Wyvern and found it was actually exactly 10 years ago yesterday.

As I probably said then, and in a tweet-chain that triggered this blog post, the Wyrmling may have opened the door a crack, but it was the Wyvern egg that slammed it all the way open and broke off the hinges.

There was a certain magic in the air that day – we were the testbed for the random selection that was used up until the final hatchings, replacing the old “who can click fastest before the sim crashes” method.  I like to think of it as letting fate and luck take the wheel more directly, as the former relied on reaction speed as well as luck on if the server would acknowledge it before the sim crashed.

We were spread across two sims due to population limits as the drawing began. There was tension at first as individuals were called out – at least until someone noticed that if you checked your registration token, it could tell you if you were one of the winners or not already.  The current version of the Cathedral was not complete yet, but this was the first chance many of us got to see it, as the eggs were located there to keep things under control.

Once we had our eggs, it was off to the sandbox to hatch them, wear the avatars, and tweak them to our specifications.  This is where the magic I spoke of was most felt – the becoming of wing and scale, tooth and claw.  Leaning to move in something much larger, how it worked, and sharing the joy and celebration of our new forms with all the other newly grown Wyverns.  This was also the premiere release of the Wyverns, which added another element of specialness to the whole event.

It’s kind of sad that the days of the hatchings are behind us now.  As time wore on, the crowds began to shrink, and eggs began to go unclaimed, until the decision was made to set the tradition aside as the amount of unclaimed eggs up for adoption had effectively removed the distinction. Folks who arrive at the Isles now seeking a draconic perspective will never truly get to experience the tension of waiting to see if you were chosen, the wonder of walking down the rows of IoW elders standing ceremonial guard to claim their new egg, and the joy and celebration of becoming alongside their wingbrothers and wingsisters as they explore their new selves.

There was several factors though that led to this, and I don’t know that any one of them changing would have made a difference.

  • Daryth, as far as I am aware, has effectively moved on – no new dragon or other avatar designs or updates have been released in years.  For her, this was her art, more than anything else, and as every artist knows, the muse can be a fickle thing.
  • Other creators have harnessed deformations and mesh to create technically superior(whether they are aesthetically is up to the viewer) avatars that were available 24/7, and a majority of Second Life I’d say would prefer that instant purchase and gratification rather than waiting months for a chance at one that isn’t even a certain win.
  • While people come and go, once you had the adult you didn’t need to enter again.  This meant that every hatching shrunk the pool of prospective dragons, and eventually that pool would be small enough to cause this sort of effect as well.

So while it was probably inevitable, I am still glad I got to experience a IoW hatching before it ended, and thankful for it as it helped me find myself, so to speak. The Isle itself and the community is still around after 11 years, which is practically an eternity in SL time. While the sun is no longer blotted out with dragon wings, there are many hatchies and other folk waiting to welcome a stranger into their fold, or welcome back old friends who may wing back from time to time.

With how many places I have visited in SL that have come and gone, there is still a certain peace in knowing there is still a home to return to.

I have seen things you people wouldn’t believe.

Sims crashing like dominos from a runaway grey goo attack. I’ve seen entire furry continents rise, only to fade away.  Dragons, spreading their wings for the first time under the shadow of Cathedral. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain.

Time to fly.

2015: Running in Place

I knew it had been a while since I really wrote anything, but I hadn’t realized it had been three months!  Honestly, I just haven’t really had anything much to write at length about lately.  Most other quick thoughts either haven’t been worth sharing, or dumped on Twitter where they are a better fit.

Anyways, welcome to 2016, we made it another revolution around the sun without the world being blown up.

Looking at my last post, I did finish that story, and you can find it at several different sites:

Take your pick.  In addition, I did get that piece of art of M’Rel, the Captain from the story(and styled a scene after it a bit):

Captain M'Rel of the FSS ExcaliburI’ve got the next story featuring them in mind, but considering it took probably 6 months to get the last one written, don’t expect this one done any time soon.

Related to this, I actually have been considering doing a sort of character compendium, though I don’t know where the best place to do that would be yet.  Basically, my list of characters that I had in different RP universes mostly, with the stories and/or ideas I had for them.  On thinking over who is on that list, they’re pretty much all female too I’m realizing.  Heh, go fig.

I’m also on Telegram now, though I’ve mostly limited that to just a few RL friends.  May change in the future at some point though.  Anyways, I’m looking at getting some stickers coming up here for it, which I may share here, since it’s more little arts.  I’ve also got ideas for a couple adult pics that are looking like they may never happen, and at least one idea I kinda want from watching the new Star Wars.

It was a good movie.  I avoided pretty much all the spoilers successfully, and heck, even skipped most of the trailers leading up to it, so I got some legitimate surprises.  It was also a good Star Wars movie.  I will say there’s no after-credits scene, which I found out the hard way. I also ahve to say that they picked the right trailers to go with it, as I’m at least mildly interested in all but one of the trailers attached to it – the exception being that “Chicago in a cage experiment” one. In IMAX 3D, one of them even did this awesome effect at the end with cinders(I think it was Warcraft) where it actually seemed like it was coming from behind me and I started to turn my head before catching myself.

Lately, I’ve been less in STO, though I got a pilot ship for my Romulan engineer.  Those things are wicked fun to fly!  I had so much fun actually that my Christmas gift to a couple people that play was gift cards to buy a pilot ship(or 3). I’m also sorely tempted to move my other Romulan into a pilot ship too, but I really like the design of the veteran Heavy Destroyer, and kinda want to keep her in that Skyhawk DD descendant.

The reason I’ve not been playing STO is I’d been plowing through Shadowrun.  I needed a bit of a palate cleanser as I was starting to burn out, so I tried Dragonfall, and got hooked this time.  I liked the story and characters enough I ended up playing through it a couple more times with different builds to get all the achievements as well, and see the different endings.

After that I got Shadowrun: Hong Kong during the recent Steam sale and while I like the expanded options, I didn’t feel it as much this time.  Partly from how they limit your background I think – my usual dwarf rigger/decker was a semi-poor fit for their story.  After the first playthrough I then went through again with a mage/face more tailored to teh story and while it worked well, the endings all blended into each other more than Dragonfall’s did.  I did get a kick out of the references, cameos, and callbacks to the previous game, but Dragonfall had a better story I think.  I did complete all the achievements on this game as well within 2015, though I got the last at 11:58 or 11:59pm!

Playing the Shadowrun games got me thinking about an old character concept I never got to realize for that universe – a werefox technomancer.  During the one(and only so far) Shadowrun campaign I played in, I ended up doing a variant of this character due to a rule conflict i found, and I didn’t want to look for a house ruling, so I turned her into a face/sneak using pistols – and then of course our first run was to an underwater wreck.  Plenty of wandering and combat opportunities, but no fast-talking or sneaking required. The party got split three ways too, but then the game got put on indefinite pause.

The idea I had was that since Resonance behaved a lot like Magic, maybe a fox shifter who was born Awakened in a urban area might have tapped into that instead, and become a technomancer.  In 4E shadowrun(don’t know if 5th changed this) you couldn’t have both a Resonance stat and a Magic stat and shifters were required to have a Magic of 1 as I recall, which put the kibosh without house rules. Her Matrix avatar would have been a fox, kind of a clue to her identity as such.

Now if I got the chance again, I’d see if I could get that rule bypassed a bit as I still think it’s a neat concept.  If I re-envisioned her again now though, I’d be tempted to make a couple changes. The slight twists I have in mind are that she’d have a drone “pet,” and that her avatar might instead be a female foxtaur, to combine both aspects of her Awakened nature. Technomancers, from how they should be played, sound like a good fit for a trickster archetype character too.

The main problem is I’m not sure if I could make her good with the drone and with doing Matrix things, or if that would cause her to not bee good enough at either.  There’s also the matter of how to make her drone “pet” work as a pet – having a sprite inhabit it or something.  It’s a concept I like, if I could make it work.  I only have access to a 4E book right now though, and I haven’t read up on the 5e changes yet.  Some incarnation of her would make my “memorable characters” list I mentioned earlier though.

Overall, 2015 hasn’t been bad at all – quite a lot of running in place in various aspects of my life, with only a couple changes here and there.  I dropped World of Warcraft(though I may pick it back up later), got heavy into Star Trek Online, wrote a story, got a few pieces of art, finally got a tablet, got a lot more Transformers(thanks to Combiner Wars being awesome), and changed roles laterally at work.  Oh, and allergies worked hard to kick my butt through large swaths of it.

Whether it’s good or bad that things changed little, I’ll leave as an exercise for the reader, as some old books used to say.  We’ll see what 2016 brings, and if I have more to write about here or not!

Late-night rambling returns!

I’ve actually had a couple posts I’ve wanted to do in the pipeline, but various things have conspired to prevent me from following through on them.  Various things in large part being WoW. <..<

Anyways, there’ll still be a year -in-review post at some point, and I also have a Transformer-like race to use in Pathfinder to post, but this isn’t either of those.  This is a catch-up, and maybe some rambling on random topics, for the first time in a while!

If you don’t care about WoW, feel free to skip a few paragraphs. XP

First, the WoW situation has kind of sorted itself out.  The two guilds de-merged, and Chocolate Disco went back to a lot more casual schedule.  I’ve ended up on the regular Mythic team, but not quite made Core, which I’m fine with.  I know there’s better players than me – only reason to wish I was Core is so I would have a higher cap on guild repairs for progression nights!

Especially after I went and made myself broke.  I’ve basically completed the follower minigame on my main until 6.1, and there’s nto much to do towards raiding outside raids at the moment.  So, I finally went back to see what I missed in minipets, since I had that mostly done before my break, and was surprised that they hadn’t added that much.  I saw some TCG pets I was missing up for relatively cheap, and there was now ay I was going to go through Molten Core any more times to try for that pet, so I went and bought myself into brokeness.  Worse, I haven’t been able to engage the revenue stream I had been using as I needed to make some upgrades for myself for crafted pieces for my monk alt and for a piece where RNG turned out to hate me on my main.  End result though is that I just need to get about 8 more pets and I’ll have every pet I can get that’s not a CE pet, Blizzcon pet, or a pet only available in another country.  At least until 6.1!

As for why I -need- to gear my alt, originally I was planning on raiding with both guilds, with all the time sinks that entails.  There’s folks I like in both guilds and I wanted to keep running with both(not to mention it’s a bit of a rush to realize that I’m in the raid team of the top guild on the server!) so I was going to use my alt to run Disco raids.  Then it turned out they kind of raid on the same days.

I say kind-of because the second Disco night is the same night as what is supposed to be an alt run, but I’ve had a couple gear holes that have forced me to run my main in said alt runs for more gear.  That’s solved now though until Blackrock releases, so I’ll be able to roll with them for at least a couple weeks finally.

Aside from WoW, I’m moving into a different position that’s more internal facing and engineering oriented at work.  I’m still having to deal with some stuff here and there that isn’t, but that’s the life of a sysadmin, and my boss has a very healthy philosophy on outside-normal-hours work: keep it to a minimum.  It’s a philosophy I’m in heavy agreement with, as after some of my contracting I make it a point to grab on tight to my free time, including lunch breaks and only work on either if there is no other way.  I have pushed back on scheduling before because of workload, but that’s less of an issue in my new position.

My muse has finally spoken up again though, and revived one of my former identities as a separate character: Chakat Swiftwind lives again(sorta).  Where my dragon is me though, Swiftie is a separate character, more along the lines of my various RPG characters.  There may not be much distinction between the two for a lot of furries, but there is for me and that’s the important part.  Part of that is I finally have an idea of who shi is: a hotshot pilot, whether it be starship or starfighter… though given the chakat universe doesn’t have a lot of interstellar conflict, shi’s pretty much a starship jock at the moment in my mind.

I tried using Traveller to put together a background history for hir, but it left a bit to be desired, as there are some differences naturally between the two universes.  I also was a bit confused about the difference between StarFleet and Star Corps in that universe, so I had to do a quick rewrite to fit with my mental idea of where shi is in the “present” which unfortunately has left some parts of hir past vague now for the moment.

As to what prompted me, I had a strong mental image of hir in a cockpit, hands on controls and handpaws on even more controls.  Granted, as a ship’s helmsman on a long-range exploration ship shi may not get to do that, but there’s pinnances and such shi may have to fly for some reason; not to mention shi may be able to make that ship do tricks its builders hadn’t even thought of.

Part of that also gave me the idea and framework for a story, and it even fits well to the typical framework of a Star Trek episode!  After I fleshed out some identities of other folks shi’d be interacting with regularly though, I found myself without the time to actually start writing it.  There’s also a couple things i’m not sure about now because I want to stick to that “Star Trek episode” feeling, but I want it to be hir story, not a story about the bridge crew of the ship shi’s on.

Another thing is that my original idea necessitates some ship-to-ship combat, which is where I run into another issue.  In Star Trek’s universe, there’s other star empires to be handy antagonists.  The chakat universe’s Steller Federation on the other hand has no real enemies, just some pirates pretty much and everyone else in their stellar neighborhood is buddy-buddy with them.  On top of that, StarFleet ships in the chakatverse have people trained for First Contact and this is a Big Thing, as opposed to Star Trek where they meet half the new civilizations over laser fire, and the other half they try not to even make contact with because of the Prime Directive.

The fact that First Contact is huge, and that I’m technically playing in someone else’s playground, makes me leery of introducing a new alien race of any sort to be antagonists. Pretty much the only way to make it work would be for the alien race to be truly alien(which is hard) as most of the Federation races have been of similar mindsets, make the new race be scream-and-leap like the Kzinti, or have what attacks them be automated.  None of those are truly ideal, and with how big First Contact is, a botched one, even if nothing could be done, would be a huge black mark I would imagine.  So I’m stuck on that plot point and it’s a major one for the original story idea I had.

Back on the topic of mental images though, there were a couple others that came to mind that I wanted to see made real, so I’ve started getting art again.  I had a ton of Transformers come in recently, but thankfully it was end of December so technically it was part of last year’s budget.  I’ve already blown past my tentative marker for January’s non-essentials budget though with the two pieces I have coming, even with that.

I’d actually wanted to get art of Swiftwind last year, but I never really got around to finding taur artists besides Kacey and trying to get it done.  This time, I actually found a few artists, but was surprised how few good taur artists I was able to find, though I did stumble on another recently thanks to Twitter(and which prompted the second art piece I have inbound eventually).  Right now I just have nothing I really want drawn of -me- except maybe a new icon.  Problem there is I don’t have a theme in mind or a specific artist to do a dragicon, so that’s on hold at the moment.

I actually have a third piece in mind too, and the artist I’d like to do it is opening for commissions soon, so I’m waiting to see if I can snag a slot there.  As long as I’m getting pics done of my (other) characters, I figured I’d get a pic of a major Pathfinder character I’ve been trying to be able to play – my Dark Tapestry Oracle, who happens to be a black-furred kitsune with a gypsy theme.

I’ve actually gotten the chance to game again, which allowed me to bring her up again and play her, though this is one of those campaigns where the DM looked at the (non-MMO)Elder Scrolls games’ laughable attempts at balance and thought it was way too restrictive in power level.  On one hand, it’s letting me pull out the stops, but on the other it’s feeling more like a power fantasy than RP and I feel like I’m not actually really playing so much as waiting to see what the next huge power boost is.  On the other hand, they were already high level when I joined, but that doesn’t help when advancement is still this rapid.  I can always use her again in a different campaign I suppose that’s a bit more sane.

The other campaign this group is running though definitely isn’t it.  While they’re playing through an adventure path, the characters are more like a Marvel What If? comic instead.  Since restraint on concept was already thrown to the wind, I sat down with the Advanced Race Guide and figured out how to build a Transformer, and got the GM to approve it!  I’ll be posting it at some point, but I still need to make the actual character.  I’m thinking bomb alchemist may be fitting.

I sort of wish there was a Traveller campaign going, so I could see if I could slip in my conversion of the chakat race too and make Swiftie in that.  Of course, then I’d probably have to answer some questions about where hir race comes from.  I usually don’t flaunt furry stuff outside of the areas of the internets where its common or such, but the group I’m playing with again in RL would probably have no problem with it, considering what some of them are into.  Wouldn’t help though with other groups…

When I thought about getting the art of Swiftwind though, I realized I didn’t have any real good referances.  The only color drawn pic didn’t give hir a large enough bust(and yeah, my motives for hir having a large rack probably are less than pure if I actually sat and thought about it) and the rest were just sketches. I did have the Second Life pics form the last revamp I did to my SL av of hir, but hir upper body was out of proportion in that.  So, now that mesh bodies are a thing, I went looking to see if I could find a larger base body to use for the upper torso.

I didn’t find any that were just larger, but I found some that looked more natural and/or more shapely, and when I tried a demo I found to my delight that it worked just fine with my taur anims.  The first one though was no-mod and you ahd to apply to be able to make skin appliers for it so I had to look elsewhere.  I foudn another one that was almost as good, AND a lot cheaper, and was mod-friendly!  As a bonus, it also gave hir breasts a more natural shape and increased the amount hey could scale.  Of course, the slider setting I had needed to use before with the default SL body resulted in nuclear torpedo warheads with this body, so I was actually able to scale it down to get hir chest to be the right size I envisioned.

Since I was stuck in terms of upper-to-lower-body ratio though, I decided to try scaling the lower body down a bit.  I’d originally had the height set to max for scale purposes in SL, but proportions were more important now and scale is jacked in SL anyways.  It actually wasn’t too difficult to finally get hir body properly proportioned in general once I tried.  Then it was snapshot time!

While I was starting to put it together, I had the bright idea to go with a LCARS theme, and I ended up blowing an entire Saturday with putting together the template, coloring it, and retaking shots I found out were at bad angles, but it gave me a good ref sheet finally for hir, and it’s already getting used for the two new pieces I have coming.

Iv’e been tempted a time or two to take hir out for a whirl on SL, but I don’t know what I’d do with hir.  WoW and work keep me busy enough that I wouldn’t want to commit to a regular RP, and for my regular hanging out I’d rather be my dragon self.  I could go hunt up furry sex clubs, but that lost its appeal a long while ago.  If I just want word porn I can write it myself(and probably do a better job!) and for anything beyond that, well, that’s one thing relationships can bring to the table – and there it’s sex because of the love, not love for the sex.

Also looking back other than the sidegrade into a RP character, Swiftwind really doesn’t fit as an identity so much as a fantasy.  Whether or not I used to be more cuddly, I’ve found that I don’t really care as much for random hugs and snugglings and such anymore from strangers, and that sort of closeness is a natural thing for chakats.  Since they’re natural empaths they’re very informal and very sensual, for reasons which make a lot of sense when you look at it.

That also leads into the whole chakat style of mating and courtships.  While I like the idea of the different levels(Companion/Denmate/Lifemate) and think that could work well, chakats tend to have multiple mates and love everyone, and I’m serially monogamous.  Once I give my heart and loyalty, that’s it.  Maybe I’m jsut old-fashioned.  I could maybe see a threesome working if the other two were both female and some circumstances worked out, but in general I have one mate and that’s that.

Being a hermaphrodite also is integral to the even general idea of chakats, but not something I could see myself as anymore.  The idea may be fun to play with, in that you could RP either a male or female role with the same character, depending on mood and partner, but I am definitely not bi, which is almost a requirement for that to be part of your identity.  If nothing else, my (lack of) reaction to all the penis pics that showed up on my Twitter AD account’s timeline proved that to myself – and that’s ignoring the time I did try to use a chakat as my identity.

I supose, going back to what I said earlier about my reasons for hir chest size, that it’s in part a fusion of myself with one of the representations of my potential ideal mate.  Self and fantasy in one, so that either you can be the one doing, or you can mentally put yourself in the other person’s shoes while playing the female role when it comes to the more adult activities; and all without changing characters.

While I’m mentioning AD and dick pics, that’s something I’ve noticed a lot of.  People taking pictures of just their bits, which frankly gets pretty boring.  You’ve seen one, you’ve seen most of them, girls included.  Most of the actually hot pictures include more of the body, body language, expression and so on.

Then again, maybe it’s just because I’m older and have my sexual urges more under control, since most of said folks are several years younger.  I’ll admit I can think with the wrong head at times, but it seems like (effectively) going into rut isn’t that often an occurrance for me.  Heck, just look at when I’ve posted adult stories fairly close together, and you can get an idea.

I’m actually feeling tired now, and this is one of the longest entries I’ve written in a while so I guess I’ll leave you with the art piece I got most recently, from right around the new year.  Enjoy!

Lookin' Cute, Feelin' Cute

Plotting Garrison Plots

I guess I’ll start off with the shocker.  Turns out that the reason I hadn’t been getting responses to those text messages is that my gf passed away a couple days after she had let me know she was going in.  Apparently they found her after the fact so she never even made it into the hospital.  We had our own online ceremony for everyone who knew her in SL back on Saturday, and we hit 73 folks in attendance at once point.  It was a wonderful ceremony that blew me over in how powerful it felt.  There was a video taken too, but I don’t know if it made it online or not yet, and I plan to find out when I’m a bit less busy.

Anyways…

I’ve had some interesting thoughts about Garrisons.  Originally, I was considering trying for an all-furry (or all non-human at least) garrison crew, and even picked up the 5000 apexis crystal Arrakoa follower(the most expensive escort ever, according to WoWhead!) but there’s not enough pre-gen furry types to pull it off.  At this point I’ve basically settled for as close as possible and speadsheeted out my followers to min-max the best team from who I have.

You see, it’s going to be a while before I can build an inn, where the other 200 possible random followers come from.  The first plot needs to stay a Trading post for now to fund everything, and once I cap out my resources my lumber mill will need to be replaced with a barn for savage bloods for gear, which doesn’t leave an open slot.  My alts however are a bit more free in that regard.

So I got to thinking.

My feral druid alt is a worgan.  There seems to be quite a few worgen in the follower list, and once you get level 3 barracks you can switch in racial guards… and I’m pretty sure she’s exalted with Gilneas.  So I’m thinking with her I’m going to try to build an all-worgen garrison, with the occasional furry-style filler that is too useful to deactivate, or if I can’t quite get enough Worgen.  Since I don’t need to maximize power, I can maximize for fun instead!

My red panda ninja gal on the other hand, I don’t have any theme ideas for yet.  I’m sure something will come to me eventually though.

Overall, I have to give props to Blizzard.  I was looking somewhat forward to this as a slice of Warcraft in Warcraft, and I’m enjoying it in its own right, at least so far.  A couple months down the road I’ll probably be less interested, as managing all the daily cooldowns will be more of a pain, but for now, I can’t wait to get home to check my missions and see if I nabbed any follower upgrades!

Life Moves On

So my last living grandparent passed on this past weekend.  Oddly, I don’t feel any different than I did before, and looking back, that was the case with all my grandparents.  This seemed odd to me at first, considering all the folks mourning, until I thought about it some, and I think there’s a few factors here, some of which deserve to be looked at.

First, there’s the matter of how often I interacted with them.  My grandparents on my Dad’s side moved several states away when he retired, and on top of that I was in college at the time.  As such, I barely saw them much after they moved out there before they passed on.

My grandparents on my mom’s side lived a lot closer, but they were still about a half hour to 45 minutes away, and combined with my usual business I didn’t see them much either.  I still going to have all the memories, but I hadn’t seen much of either before they passed on in the end.

What really then is the difference between moving out of touch somewhere and moving on from this life? Emotionally for me, I think that it feels like they just happened to move to somewhere where I can’t reach them is all, and they’re not truly gone.  It’s even in the phrase, passing on.

Which brings us to the second aspect, what death means.  For me death is an ending but also a new beginning.  There is a picture I commissioned before which unintentionally did a good job of bringing out that feeling.

1395159812.adalfyre_dekafox

The color pallette and lighting gave me a feeling of a old worn foxdragon moving on into the afterlife, but pausing to look back one last time at what he’s leaving behind.  When death comes naturally, as it did in all their cases, this is how I feel it should be.  A laying down of burdens, and of moving on to greater delights and serenity.

Which then comes back around to the third part of it all, mourning itself.  The funeral was a somber but not overly sad ceremony, but it did make me think.  A lot of times the sadness and such is a reflection on the people left behind looking on what they have lost, rather than a celebration of the life that person lived, or that they have been released form whatever pain and suffering they may have been experiencing.

Me, I’d think I’d prefer something more along the lines of a wake.  Celebrate the life they lived, and raise your glasses to what they’ve left behind.  Celebrate their life rather than mourn their death.

I think in the end that’s why I’m not too torn up about it all – they’ve moved on to Heaven or whatever the afterlife may hold, and they passed on when it was their time, a life fully lived.  Whether they’re 1200 miles away or a dimension away, they still exist in the hearts of every person who cared for them.  The body has been returned to the earth it came from, and their souls have moved on to the great beyond.

And someday, just like in the picture above, I will rejoin them.  Someday, in the sea of stars…

Yes, Burd is the word

Specifically tweeting birds.. a twitter, you could say.

I’ve had a gmail since the invite days, but in the past few years as google has consolidated some of its domains, I’ve had several different people think my e-mail is theirs.  There’s a guy in South Africa, a guy in the UK, and a few others I have yet to identify.  Remember folks, count your Ls and make sure if you are using a county code(.co.za) use that and NOT .com!

Anyways, due to this I’ve occasionally been signed up for things against my will.  Most of these I’ve just canceled the subscription if it was a mailing list, or just removed my e-mail if not.  A couple times I’ve had to reset the password first to get in.

This sort of thing though left me with a Facebook account, and more recently a Twitter account.  The Facebook one I threw a few pics up on and a statement to whomever tried to open it that I’m not that guy and to stop trying to sign up things with my e-mail.  I’m not overly fond of Facebook’s data collection practices, so I’ve got little interest in making use of it, other than making sure that I don’t get spammed from it.  The twitter though I’ve been thinking about actually using.

The first thing though, is what would I use it for?  While this time I didn’t feel like totally abandoning it, I was torn on how to use it.  One thing that seemed obvious is mirroring my posts here to it(and which you should see as this is the first post since activating the integration).  That led to the thought of using it like a short version of this blog.  In other words, use it when I want to just shout something out to the wilds of the internet, or have something I feel like sharing in general but not specifically with anyone.

Which brought to mind another quandry – what about mature topics and such?  My galleries all require membership in whatever site they’re on to see the adult content.  Unfortunately, Twitter is all-or-nothing on protecting your tweets.  Either every tweet is protected, or none of them.

While finding that out, I read a little something on the philosophy why: Facebook is for the friends you have already, while Twitter is for people who could be friends but may not already be yet.  Regardless of if you agree or not, that does seem to be the thought process behind not having a granular system for protecting tweets.

The solution I’d seen to this was most folks have an AD or After Dark account which is for the fun adult stuff, while their main account is strictly for SFW content.  After a bit of thought, I’ve gone ahead to do the same.  It unfortunately doesn’t let me use the same exact e-mail, but using the googlemail version goes to the same place and prevents someone else from signing up with my info again by accident

Now I ran into another issue – I can’t sign into both at once in the same browser, so I wouldn’t be able to just track it all in Chrome like I had been thinking. I hadn’t used workspace 3 in a while of my 4 workspaces(1 is main, 2 is what I use for work-related stuff, and 4 is e-mail), so at first I thought of using that with a Firefox browser on one monitor and Chrome on the other.  I started to set that up then realized this seemed kind of silly and there might already be some separate program for the PC to use.  Looking into that, I tracked down Tweetdeck and got it set up to see both at once in a single Chrome window.

Funnily enough, I recognized the interface from a co-worker who must have been running it – I’d seen it several times before but never knew what it was.

With that out of the way, the last thing was who to follow.  I’ve never been big on social networking, and I mostly keep my work and online lives separate, as most folks here wouldn’t get the whole furry/otherkin thing.  While I’m still toying with this, at the moment I’m looking at following twitters of (mostly toku) fansub groups to catch new releases without having to check their blog semi-frequently, maybe a few furry artists, and I’m not sure beyond that.  I’ll just have to wait and see what the future brings.

In other news, delayed art post is still delayed.  I’m waiting on the final piece back from an artist, and so far it looks like by the time that’ll happen I might actually have 3 things to post!  Wait… no, 2 things still, but mention of a third possibly.

Unsubbed from WoW again until the patch, since I’ve got my cloak on my kitty.  Once we get to patch day for 6.0.2, I’ll resub, but right now I got nothing to do there and I don’t need to spend money to not play it.  I’ve not been back in Diablo 3 either recently, or Shadowrun Returns.  The start of Dragonfall isn’t grabbing me as much as Dead Man’s Switch did – either that or it’s the change in characters.

Also spent a bit more money than I planned to this month thanks to the TFCC(Transformers Collector’s Club).  When I saw the TFSS(Transformers Subscription Service) set for this year, I’d thought they were neat, but I didn’t like the idea of using repaints for MTMTE Chromedome or Rewind, and Thrustinator was a cute idea but not one I wanted to spend on.  Well, once Chromedome started arriving and I saw some non-stock pics, it struck me just how well the Prime Wheeljack mold worked for him with that color layout.  There was plenty of personality there and it looked like a valid modern update for him – not to mention that if he was a candidate for TFCC it meant Hasbro had no near-future plans for him, so I ended up giving in and ordering him.

Having received it, I can say it lived up to the pictures.  I still don’t care for the TFSS Rewind though, so I got a G1 Rewind so CD-RW would be complete.  I couldn’t leave this version of Chromedome alone, especially since he just got Rewind back in the comics. Between him, Nightbeat, and the Legends figures, it seems I’ve got a small Lost Light detachment now sitting on my work desk.

Speaking of which, I’m still torn on what toy to use to represent MTMTE Rodimus.  The Cloud Rodimus is too big and expensive for my taste.  Animated Rodimus looks like it might be a nice match, but I’d have to get one off eBay.  Energon Rodimus doesn’t look a lot like his MTMTE counterpart, but I do already own him, and it would let me leave my Classics Rodimus with the ’86 Movie crew.

I also need a Ratchet for the Lost Light display, but looking through the possibilities I don’t see any that looks close to his counterpart, apart from the meh-ish Universe mold.  Same reason I’m tempted to get a second Cyclonus, but I don’t know if I want to spend the money just so I can have one in the ’86 movie crew and in the Lost Light crew.  I’ve also eyed RTS Perceptor, though I have yet to pick him up.  Most of the other big names, I already have, though I’m not sure what to do about Magnus.

I think I’ll leave it at that for now.  Until next time!

Time flies

So my birthday came and went, and I’ve now rode this ball of dirt and air around the sun another full time. Saw the new Transformers movie and it was better than the last two I have to say.  Didn’t sell me on characters but it was a better experience I felt.

Now that I look it’s been about 3 weeks since my last post, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long.  I suppose it’s a matter of scale.  When you’re younger, every day is a larger portion of your total life, and there’s so much ahead still that it feels like it drags.  Once you get past your mid-20s, you’ve lived a lot more so each day feels less significant, not to mention that not much changes(unless you have children) for many years after.  Same reason that when you get older age gaps can be bigger without getting into the weird zone.

Still mostly hanging with my mate and playing D3 when she’s not around.  So far I’ve played everything except Demon Hunter, and I’m liking Wizard and Crusader the best, followed by Barb.  Witch Doctor is efficient but not as fun to me.. although all the pets make some enemies not near as annoying.  The only thing I enjoyed about the monk was Explosive Palm making things go boom, and that got nerfed heavy.  2.1 patch is retooling all that though, so afterwards, we’ll see.

2.1 also brings in the seasons to D3, and I might play it but I don’t know if I’ll go Crusader or Wizard.  It’s actually kinda funny, considering that I can make the Wizard play like the Wind Druid, one of my favorites from D2, and the Crusader is the rebuild of the paladin from D2, which was the other D2 class I played a bunch.  No Auradin, but looking at trying Holy Shotgun on my Crusaders once they cap out and I can get the gear for it.

Artwise, no real change apart form the CurioDraco piece is actually in progress now.  I should probably poke the other two just to see if there’s any word on progress, since it’s been months now since the last update.

I am getting going on getting that referance sheet now also that I was talking about.  Maverick updated her Trello and had some new Ref sheets, so I asked and she did have an open ref sheet spot in her queue!  Working hashing out the initial sketch sketch still, but it has gotten me to think on a few things again that I hadn’t before about my body.  Like for example I had been planning on a black mouth and tongue, but after trying it out in SL(as she was thinking flesh was better) I did find it worked better.  My gf also spotted a change that needed to be done with my horns that I’d overlooked, funnily enough.  There’s going to be clean and adult versions too, which’ll be useful, and Miss Maverick does a very good job at capturing expressions.

Don’t really have anything else of note to talk about right now so going to close it out there.  Until next time!

Sweet Emotion

Time for another of those shouts out into the vast void of the Interwebs!

Last night, after I said goodnight to my love and was getting ready for bed, I was thinking back on the day and realized my mood hadn’t changed much for most of the day(apart from when I surprised her with some art that I’ll get into later).  It was an odd feeling, but after a few minutes though I was able to put a name to it: I was content.

Strange that something so simple is so elusive in the modern world, so uncommon that it’s not recognized immediately anymore.  Yet there it is, after spending a day mostly split between Diablo 3 and time in SL with my mate.

I guess our lives are so sped up and micromanaged by various companies wanting siphons in our wallets, not to mention work pressures, that it’s hard to find those quiet times anymore.  “Feeling anything other than nondescript happy?  There’s a drug for that!”  “A normal person is happy.  You ARE normal, aren’t you?” “Look at these awesome stars you’ll never be as good at unless you buy our stuff!”

These days we’re constantly pushed and pulled in so many different directions and ways that equilibrium is hard to find.  It’s a bit like Bilbo described in the LotR stuff; “A bit like too little butter spread over too much bread” or jam or whatever it was.  Everything is “GOGOGOGO NOWNOWNOW” from the intense lows of a manager or customer leaning into your face tearing you a new one because this color isn’t exactly like that color, never mind it’s the same color, to the intense highs of getting that brand new sportscar to show off to your coworkers like you’re getting paid twice what you are.

Things are going great or things are going shitty, and you’re expected to react appropriately and that there’s something wrong with you otherwise.

There’s also the perception among current US culture that if you’re not on top of the heap, you should be reaching for more.  “Everything for me and mine; hell take the hindmost” is a common sentiment if you break things down.  You don’t even need to deny it; just look at the laws that get passed or repealed, and what all the lobbying groups push for.  If you’re not making progress or sitting at the top, you don’t deserve to be happy, and god forbid that you actually backslide!  Everyone knows that never happens to anyone who doesn’t deserve it, right?  Therefore, if you backslide you must be a horrible horrible person and you deserve all the bad things the rich men do to you.

I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s “unfashionable” to be content.  Honestly, there’s still things I want and want to change, but for that day there was just me, my mate, my friends, and a game I find fun, and that was enough for that day.  It was a simple happy, not the extreme high that most seem to think of as happy these days.  In fact, thinking about it, I’m sure there’s some that would qualify anything outside that extreme high as being unhappy, and treat it with “medication”(whether legal or not).

It’s actually kind of sad that this is a thing.  I guess that’s why some folks reject the modern world and pine for older days, when things were simpler, less hectic, and less inclined to extremes.  There’s still plenty of room though to step back and enjoy a simple day, leaving the worries of the world behind and just enjoy the moment, even when you work in IT!

Now as to the other moment I mentioned earlier, I had been wanting to get my girl a picture of her dragoness playing the keytar(as she does in a band in SL) for a couple months now.  There was a specific artist who does really inexpensive stream sketch commissions, but they’d been working on full commissions for a while and hadn’t done a stream since March!  Friday, I found they were opening on Saturday afternoon.  I probably had the dopiest grin on my face on and off that afternoon as I pondered getting to surprise her with that, since she never got any art before now.

When the time got close, I was a bit nervous, since we were also running a race event on SL, and I wanted her in the stream while it was being drawn.  I paused for a few minutes to let some other people get their entries in before mine so they wouldn’t overlap, which worked like a charm.  Then however, there was some confusion about the race that looked like it would delay things, but by the time my queue slot came around the after-race party was well underway.

When I was getting her into the stream, I didn’t tell her what it was for other than she would really want to see this, and the whole time I was feeling the urge to giggle or snicker in anticipation of her reaction, which was fairly close to what I had figured.  The picture came out pretty good, if a little bit different from what I had expected, but she loved it, which gave me that bubbly happy feeling from seeing her happy about it.

Since I had gotten to surprise her with that one, I went ahead and told her about the other commission I had gotten, that was of both of us.  That one is more of a slow burn as that commission is going to be worked on over July, and I hope we both like that one just as much as this one – it’s just harder when you’re working without a solid reference, and her SL av is still a WIP.

Which I suppose is a good time to go back over my art queue.

  • Badge from Acidapluvia – She’s been busy with life, but she finally got around to updating her Trello queue listing last week and it’s showing as in-progress now, so yay!  Not sure if it’s going to be just the image or it’ll be physical, so will find that out when she gets it done.
  • Adult pic from Tanraak – Got a sketch, he tried to work on it for a bit, wasn’t satisfied with it and redrew it, although honestly I liked the first sketch also.  After the last review of the new sketch I haven’t heard back in a month, but he’s had some motivation problems recently so been cutting him some slack before I poke him to find out about any form of progress.
  • The aforementioned couple pic from CurioDraco – Got confirmation and sent payment over the weekend, and it’s part of a batch that will be worked on over the month of July.  I’d been wanting some art from her and I’d been wanting to get a pic of me and Kait so this works out perfectly.

On a side note, advice for anyone who is looking for good dragon artists, whether adult or otherwise: Look through the gallery and favorites of some of the more commonly drawn dragons, like Byzil and her friends – that’s how I found most of the dragon artists I’m watching.

Wind Wizards and Minibots

And of course when I look back at this it’s the start of next month.  Well, every couple of weeks works just as well I guess.  It’s just harder to keep it up when I don’t have anything special going on or anything fancy to ponder.

Art-wise, nothing’s really changed.  Still waiting for commissions to open up with DragonLovers, and the one adult pic I had in the works is still in the works, though I’ve gotten prelim sketches and it’s been restarted at least once cause the artist didn’t think he was giving the picture proper justice on his first concept.

In general lifewise, life is happening.  Work’s reorganizing a bit again, and a couple people left as well, but nothing too crazy.  Waiting for the confirmation on something I’m expecting, then I’ll have to start actively househunting again, but that’s nothing different than I said last post.  Some of my dragoness and I’s mutual friends are noticing we’re a couple now, though we’ve not exactly gone to lengths to hide it.  We’ve also not exactly been flaunting it, so *shrug*.

Main thing here I guess is D3.  In my last post I was still leveling, but now I’m a little ways into the endgame, and it’s a bit more interesting than the old play through all the same quests again, with the new bounties and rifts.  Also amusingly enough, I apparently started it again the same time several others at my office did.  I know one of them not too long ago was saying he probably wouldn’t go back, and now he’s playing again.

Remember how I said that the Wizard didn’t play much like my wind druid?  With a few tweaks to skill selection, it turns out it can play almost exactly like that, only without Hurricane damage.  Basically, I’m using the Piercing Orb and Stormchaser Energy Twister as my main attacks, and then using Chill Armor for the slow to cover for Hurricane, while keeping the electric Hydra and Mirror Image cause I like those abilities.  So far since I switched to it and got used to it, this Lightning-based build has gotten me to Paragon 43 and Torment 1, though stuff takes a while to die.  So far, gear hasn’t cooperated too much in terms of getting me higher DPS, but hoping that Torment will fix that a bit.  Legendaries have dropped several times, but only for ring or weapon so far. Apart from a couple set drops since moving to Torment, all my other legs have been crafted.

Other than that, I started a Crusader in Hardcore just to toy around with the class, but my real second character is gonna depend on what my dragoness is playing.  It’s in our plans for some point in the future, but hasn’t come around yet.

Also finished all my Transformer buying for a bit.  After being on the lookout since March, I was able to snag Swerve locally, and after seeing the new Cosmos in person I grabbed that too.  Since Swerve was the last thing I was waiting on at BBTS I canceled my preorder and shipped Tailgate and G2 Sideswipe, and I got lucky and snagged a MP Grimlock from the TRU site in the 12 hours or so it was up before it sold out.  With those, I’m all caught up until Rattrap’s wave comes out, which is probably going to be later in the year, since the movie line always derails the momentum of anything else until it’s over.

It’s funny… I snagged several from the first movie line, a few from the second, almost nothing from the third, and this time I only got one(Scorn) and might get a second(Strafe).  There’s just something about the design aesthetic that, while it was interesting the first time, and maybe the second, now it just doesn’t really interest me.  Ah well, it’s good for my wallet!