“What do you want?”

As Babylon 5 demonstrated in its stories, this can be just as dangerous a question as “Who are you?” albeit for different reasons.  Unlike the post on that question however, I could not find a good quote to show this.  Still, it is worth examining, as unless you know what you want, you won’t know where you are in life in regards to that.  Really, it gives you a set of goals to work towards.

I suppose, for me what I most want(and is actually achievable) is: financial stability, a nice place to live, and someone who cares for me and that I care for.  Of course, there’s lesser wants, and unacheivable(in this world) dreams, but this is the foundation that underlies it all in adult life, and what ultimately probably most people probably desire.

Financial stability is, in the current world, simultaneously the easiest and the hardest to achieve.  My definition for this is no debt, a steady and secure job that pays well enough to live on, and savings to cover any emergencies.  The hardest part of this is finding a job, especially with the way the economy cratered several years ago.  Once that step is past however, the rest all fall into place like magnets lining up.

For me at least, this is one that I have managed to wrangle for myself.  From the time I graduated, I made paying off my debt my highest priority, and was fully debt-free after the first year of my current job.  This job is also a full employee position, not contracted, so from all appearances it is as stable and secure as I’ll find anywhere.  The savings is a natural consequence of both those put together, as anything I don’t spend can get put away rather than be eaten by interest on debt.  (Of course, there’s the issue of inflation eating at the savings, and the idea behind investing debt so overall you make money with inflation and interest accounted for, but that is a lot more complicated, and beyond the scope of where I’m looking at the moment).

Now the second thing, a nice place to live, is actually fairly easy to get.  The hard part is to achieve it without compromising the financial stability above.  Currently, I’ve been eyeing a couple places not too far from work; one rented, and one that I would have to enter a mortgage for, which means more debt.  Now a mortgage isn’t necessarily a debt=bad situation despite a kneejerk reflex to consider it thus, but it’s also a very long term commitment.  Rent, while effectively throwing money away, also preserves a certain freedom that owning property does not.  I also have a promotion at work that I am still waiting on(manpower situation, but suffice it to say I understand why and am content to wait), and I’m sort-of holding off on rocking the boat until that goes through and I see if my financial situation changes any.  I do know whatever place I get will need a dedicated room to be a library/collection room/study.

The third is the hardest, because it depends 100% on other people.  You can love someone with all your heart, but if they don’t care equally for you, it means jack shit, if you’ll pardon my french, and I’ve learned this from painful personal experience.  There’s millions and millions of people out there, but finding the ones that you click with is still difficult, especially if you’re an introvert of any sort.  If you’ve read my last few posts, it should be fairly obvious where I’m currently standing on this point by now.

Now if we step into the realm of the unachievable, if consequences do not apply and you discount anything that does not fall into the above three(for example, asking for $$$$$$ falls under financial stability) then being able to become my dragon self would definitely rank up there, especially if I could go back and forth ala the “Dragon and the George” series of books.  If it were permanent, then there’d be other factors I’d have to consider, among them if I’d be alone, and what would become of the people I care about – but that’s something to expand on in a different post.

Another big one would be exploring the universe, but I wouldn’t want to do it by myself.  All the worlds out there we have yet to see or discover,mankind’s true steps out into the great darkness; there’s so much envisioned by science fiction that I would love to see before I depart this mortal coil, but the way the world turned inward once the space race was over makes it seem like it may not happen before we wipe ourselves out.

Then on the other end of the scale is the minor things.  Like for example, I collect Transformers. As for a while it looked like my budget might be changing, I spent some time going over all the toys that came out before I was financially independent and figuring out which figures I still wanted – then went and bought almost all of them. At the point the only figures I want and don’t have are either so expensive I can’t justify it to myself for what it is, or aren’t out yet.

And so, like the other B5-style post asked, what do you want?  What are you doing to get that?  What progress have you made, and what lies ahead yet to do to take care of those wants?

Just something to think about.

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